Super-Hero Usher Action

Yesterday I filled in for a missing usher at church. As I stood there handing out the service bulletins, greeting people as they came in the sanctuary, my daughter came in and sat down near where I was standing. She said "dad, you've got that super-hero usher action thing going". This cracked me up. I guess I never thought of an usher as an action figure.

But as I thought about this, I began to think about ushers in our church. It is not just handing out a bulletin and trying to point people to a row with enough available seats for their entourage. It is about serving God by serving people.

As a substitute assistant usher third class, all I had to do was hand out bulletins, take up the offering, smile a bit, and that is about it. No there is no title for usher other than just "usher". I just like to be funny.

I am reminded of the story of the 3 men laying bricks to build a new church. Someone asked the first brick layer "what are you making?". To which he replied "about $16 an hour, which is not too bad right now". Someone asked the second brick layer "what are you making?". To which he replied "I am making a living and keeping my family fed and in a house'. Then someone asked the third brick layer "what are you making?". To which he replied "I am making a cathedral! A house of worship for the only living and true God!".

So its not the job or the service that makes the difference. It is the attitude in doing it. And if our attitude is good and we do our best, then God is pleased.

man: What are you doing?
usher: I am ushing.
man: Oh.
usher: And in the process, I try to make your day better, greet you wiith a smile, provide you with assistance as needed, and I serve the only living and true God.

Thanks to all you ushers out there. Next month, I will be a "regular" usher and not a substitute usher third class. I will work on perfecting that "separate the bulletins extending hand with the proper number of bulletins and smile and say good morning" super-hero action.


Copyright 2005, Kevin Farley (a.k.a. sixdrift, a.k.a. neuronstatic)

Started The Ball Rolling

Ok, in my previous entry, I described the ridiculous book that my daughter checked out from her middle school library. If you are unaware, check my previous post. Anyway, I have now started the ball rolling to get something done about it.

After we had "meet the teacher" night in the middle school, O decided that it was a good time to approach the subject of that book with my daughter's teacher. So yesterday I wrote the teacher a very nice email that basically said I don't blame her (the teacher) for anything, I just wanted to make her aware of the situation. Furthermore I would like help in guiding my daughter in making better choices for reading assignments. I also wrote that I was going to pursue having that particular book removed from the library.

So now I am in the wait and see mode. We shall see what comes of this. I still presume that she did not know about the specific material or she had forgotten about it. I am not trying to find someone to point a finger at. I just want help in guiding my daughter to better reading material.

We shall see.

Copyright 2005, Kevin Farley (a.k.a. sixdrift, a.k.a. neuronstatic)

Oh My Word

My daughter brought home a library book today from public school. She went to the library and she has to always have an "accelerated reading" book checked out for her reading class. These books must be a certain level for their advanced reading.

The book my daughter brought home is called Stardust by Neil Gaiman. My daughter showed me some pages in this book that I could not believe. In fact this book contains sexually explicit material and was recommended to my 8th grade daughter by her reading teacher. She showed her teacher the book and her teacher's response was "This really is a good book.".

The book is set in the English countryside in the 20th century (I think). There is a thread in this book that involves a young man who cheats on his girlfriend and has sex with a witch's slave. Yes that is what I said, sex with a witch's slave. This was recommended reading for my 8th grade daughter. It is not just an allusion to sex. It describes it.

I have to forewarn you that this material is explicit but I am including a small part of it here. I have put the text in reverse video color. To view it,highlight the following block. The following is a direct quote from the book:

There was a moment of hesitation, and then her mouth opened against his, and her tongue slid into his mouth, and he was irrevocably, lost. 

He had kissed before, with the girls of the village, but he had gone no further. 

His hand felt her small breasts through the silk of her dress, touched the hard nubs of her nipples. She clung to him, hard, as if she was drowning, fumbling with his shirt, with his britches. 

She was so small; he was scared he would hurt her and break her. He did not. She wriggled and writhed beneath him, grasping and kicking, and guiding him with her hand. 

She placed a hundred burning kisses on his face and chest, and then she was above him, straddling him, grasping and laughing, sweating and slippery as a minnow, and he was arching ad pushing and exulting, his head full of her and only her, and had he known her name he would have called it out aloud. 

At the end, he would have pulled out, but she held him inside her, wrapped her legs around him, pushed against him so hard that he felt that the two of them occupied the same place in the universe.

This is erotic stuff even for an adult. Can you believe that is considered appropriate reading for a 13 year old girl? I can't. I have not decided what I am going to do. I have talked to my daughter and she has a good head on her shoulders. We shall be watching this situation as the year unfolds.


Copyright 2005, Kevin Farley (a.k.a. sixdrift, a.k.a. neuronstatic)

Second Week Coming To A Close

As we come to the close of a second week of public school, I can now see things start to normalize. Also I remember my school days and I have to say things are much better in some ways, worse in others, and a lot of it was the same as I remembered it. One area of improvement for sure is in paying for lunch. Back in the old days, we had to exchange clam shells... Well not quite. But we bought individual lunch chips. Now my kids have PIN codes and the account is kept filled by credit card. I like that. Also an improvement is that high school here has A and B days with longer class times. The class times in my day were so short you could not get anything done really. I liket this new way. And when I was in junior high (we did not have middle school), we had rotating periods each week. I hated that.

As for those things that are worse, I will catalog them in this blog as I encounter them. For now the worst things are basically the academics. I don't like "teaching for the test", and I don't like that the level of academics taught is lower than what my kids were used to.

The other thing I have noticed is that the kids had it soft in home school. When they get pushed in PE to do more now, or they feel a little under the weather, they want to have a day off. That will NOT work. So in a good way, public school is forcing them to be less "soft", to have more fortitude. Definitely a good thing.

Stay tuned citizens. There are more updates in the coming months. But I think for now, I have said enough about this adventure.

Copyright 2005, Kevin Farley (a.k.a. sixdrift, a.k.a. neuronstatic)

First Week of Public School Post Mortem

So far the venture into the public school system has been less than stellar. I can't say this has been easy or rewarding. It has been nothing but a hassle and disappointing. Let me start with a recap of the road traveled thus far. 

• Made the decision very late in the spring to go public school 
• Started the process by calling the school, found out that there is paperwork required - no surprise there 
• Found out that my son can start taking 11th grade classes, but must take tests to get credits for 9th and 10th grade - 10 in all 
• Found out that my daughter coult not just go straight to 9th grade as her birthday fell after the Sep 1 cutoff date 
• Found out she could take tests (of course) to go for a year's advancement 
• Signed up both kids for school 
• Made several expeditions to get all shots and immunization in order - it cost me $65 
• Finally secured all the medical stuff 
• Kids took the tests 
• Daughter did not pass 
• Son passed some, needs to retake some others 
• Neither took this seriously 
• Signed up daughter for middle school the week before classes start 
• First day of school, daughter's bus was late, she shows up at school, they have no record of her 
• First day of school, son forgets which bus was his, has to call for help to get a ride home 
• Bus continues to run late for daughter for 3 days - did not even show up on 3rd day
• Spent around 25 minutes on the phone with the man from the bus route supervisor's office that day 

And finally they made it through their first week.

So there you have it, a 3 month long ordeal that I underestimated completely. This has been a rough summer. This has been a rough start to a school year. And while the kids do seem to like public school, they are already under-impressed with the academic instruction. So from their perspectives and my own, here is our take on the Texas public school system in our independent school district: 

• The system is typified by chaos 
• There are literally dozens of papers to be signed by the parents in the first week for redundant reasons 
• The work is easy, almost to being ridiculous - my daughter colored a cow in 8th grade English class one day, then cut cows out the next 
• School lunches are better than they anticipated 
• The focus of classes has been stated to being centered on doing well on the standardized state tests 
• Discipline is not totally broken down, but there is little respect for authority

The system is nearly broken

Those are the perspectives from me and both kids each of which have had 4 years of home school following private school. Are we being unfair? Maybe, so far they have had a much different kind of education. And I will add that the depth and level of private and home school curriculum and education far exceeds the public school system as demonstrated by this first week. We shall keep an open mind and see what unfolds in the following weeks.


Copyright 2005, Kevin Farley (a.k.a. sixdrift, a.k.a. neuronstatic)

Finally, The Bus Arrives on Time

It was the fourth day of public school for the kids. And this morning, my daughter's bus finally came on time AND they did not have to stay exceptionally late before coming home. Can you believe it? Let's hope this is a normal thing and not a flash in the pan.
So far, they seem to like school. Things are going pretty well. As the days and weeks unfold, I will give more accounts as to the teenage life in public school that I glean from my kids. But for now I have learned the following:

• Apparently 98% of the kids use foul language 
• Most kids talk too much in class 
• School lunches are not too bad 
• The day doesn't drag as long as home school days.

Well that is all I have for now. Stay tuned for more updates on our adventures in Texas public schools.

Copyright 2005, Kevin Farley (a.k.a. sixdrift, a.k.a. neuronstatic)

Public School Day 3

My daughter's first day of school was rough, as I posted already. My son's was pretty good. Their second day was better, and their third day was getting more routine. So all in all, it is going pretty well. Except for... the bus.

There is no doubt about. My daughter has the one bus that cannot be on time at all. The first day it was about 15 minutes late which meant she was late for her first day of school. The second day, it was about 15 minutes late again. But this morning. This morning was ridiculous. It was over 20 minutes late and she missed most of her first period class. And apparently they had to send a different bus to get her and the other kids in the end. Where was the bus driver? Apparently he did not show. After school had already started, two buses show up at the same time to get them. Apparently they were dispatched in a hurry. And on the way to school, they still missed some kids.

So this disgruntled father gets on the phone to the bus route supervisor. I was angry, frustrated, and not ready to listen to excuses. I did listen, but I did not like being patronized. I was persistent and I did finally get some information. Apparently they had planned their bus routes using a set of assumptions about traffic flow that did not pan out.

The same buses are used to shuttle kids to high school first thing in the morning. Then they head back out to get the elementary school kids. And finally they make their way back out for the middle school kids. Apparently the traffic problems leaving the high school in the morning is causing an accumulated delay.

At least that was the explanatiion by the very patient but yet really wanting to not have to talk to me man was saying.

Now the plot thickens for the return home today. School was let out and the kids assembled where the bus would pick them up. Only there is no bus for them. It did not come at all. Finally, after about 45 minutes, another bus that had completed its route comes around for my daughter and the rest of the distraught kids to take them home. My daughter arrives home over an hour after school lets out. We live less than 2 miles from the school.

Let us pray that the bus arrives on time in the morning. And I will be there. Oh yes, I will be waiting. And I want to see that bus come on time. I will be watching them. And I will have my cell phone ready. And that little man at the bus route supervisor's office might be even more flustered if it is late again.




Copyright 2005, Kevin Farley (a.k.a. sixdrift, a.k.a. neuronstatic)

First Day of School

Well today was the first day of school here in our district. And my kids had their first day of public school - ever. That is right. Up to this point they have been private schooled and home schooled. But now, due to changes in our family (i.e. their home school teacher is no longer around), they now go to public school. I don't know who was more nervous, them or me.

So I get up extra early so I could get my son up to get ready and catch the 6:30 bus to high school. He barely got there because it came early.

Now my daughter did not have to get up until later to catch the 8:30 bus to middle school. She had plenty of time because it was late.

And then all the fun began.

Well things went pretty well for my son. Except he forgot his PIN in a classroom and couldn't eat lunch. But the rest of his day went pretty smooth. That is until it was time to come home. He had neglected to notice the bus number he rode to school. Therefore he did not know which one to take back home. Therefore he took none. And that was why I got a call from our friend Rita to tell me she had been contacted by my son and she was picking him up from school.

Now for my daughter, things just stacked up against her. First her bus was late. Then, for some unknown reason, they lost her registration. So she had to spend first period waiting in the library with 25 other kids to get registered - again. And now, she could not get the classes she was signed up for. She got to eat lunch but she did not like it. The only bright spot for her was she got to see her friend during PE class. That helped her a lot I think. Well she came home with a headache and a lot to say. But she will be going back tomorrow.

Just another day in paradise in our family. Nothing much out of the ordinary.

We are still waiting for famine, plague, and that asteroid to hit.


Copyright 2005, Kevin Farley (a.k.a. sixdrift, a.k.a. neuronstatic)

Empty Post

I am running on empty right now. So many things I want to say. So many things I can't say. So much to do. So much I can't get done. So it goes, I am running on empty.




Copyright 2005, Kevin Farley (a.k.a. sixdrift, a.k.a. neuronstatic)

Teenage Estrogen Reloaded

The modern American Mall, an untamed dominion of humans in one of their natural environments. I spent the day observing the behavior of the herds of young male humans and the flocks of young female humans.Today I rejoined a flock of young females I have spent much time with in the past. The following are some excerpts of my field notes from today's outing.

11:30 - Having spent some time previously with this particular flock of young females, I have found it best to offer them food before they venture into the mall. This not only gains their trust, but provides unrestricted observation of their eating habits. Note: find someplace less expensive next time, where do they put it all?

12:20 - Arrived at mall. Made unfortunate entry into mall near area marked "dollar store". The abundance of prey caused their well organized hunting formations to degrade into a feeding frenzy. Was worried momentarily about discussion of their obtaining torches. They decided not to be burdened by carrying 5 foot long torches in the wilds of the mall. That was a close one.

Approx 13:00 - Lurked outside of an area marked "Icing". There was discussion of how to obtain tribal ear piercing of a member of the flock. Quest was abandoned when it was learned the "parent" (that is what they call their mothers and fathers) must be present.

Note the jungle heat and crowded water hole caused me to lose track of time. How these flocks can flourish in this hostile environment is beyond me.

Arrived at Candiopolis. Was forced by the flock to purchase Icees and candy for each. I feared for my safety at the time and thought it prudent to do as they demanded. This was the only time the danger that lurks just below the surface of this amazing adventure was made evident.

Was dragged unwillingly into Earth Bound and suffered difficulty breathing and a headache. How much incense can one store have anyway? Flock move slowly and deliberately through this store.

Found massage chair. Took time out from observations to soothe headache. Note: on next outing, plan route to pass this location at least twice.

4:00 - Began to regain ability to look at watch. Made a peace offering of Wetzel Pretzels to the flock. I was given temporary inclusion into the inner world of the flock. Note: there are some questions that should not be asked, there are some things a parent doesn't really need to hear.

4:30 - Planned circuitous route back to safari vehicle.

5:15 - Somehow made it to vehicle. Note: on next outing, avoid passing Victoria's Secret, enough said.

By the end of the journey, I had collected enough observations on this particular flock to know that they are cunning hunters yet have poor sense of direction. I noted that we had traveled in circles several times. I have also decided that I must go to the ATM first the next time out. I am considering seeking government funding of these field studies as they can run into some expense.




Copyright 2005, Kevin Farley (a.k.a. sixdrift, a.k.a. neuronstatic)

Pirates of the Chickamauga

Today was a lazy day. And late this afternoon, I fixed some pasta for the kids. We were going to settle down, eat pasta, and watch Pirates of the Caribbean on DVD. That was when we discovered that the DVD player was dead. It had died sometime in the night, with a quiet passing. We know that our old DVD player was not the best, it had its quirks, but it had been a faithful family friend for years. And now it has gone on to its not so final resting ground, the dumpster.

Actually come to think of it, that DVD player sucked. It was very picky at times. It would get confused about whether it was loading or unloading and sometimes would just do random things. And what was most irritating was that the only way the remote worked reliably was if you pointed it directly at the receiver with a 2 degree inclination at a distance of no more than 17 millimeters. So, good riddance to old junk.

A quick check on the walmart.com site showed me what I was looking for. They have a progressive scan DVD player for less than $40. Now I know, you get what you pay for, but if this only lasts a year, it was worth it. So off to Walmart to get a new DVD player. Of course once in Walmart, they have a neural limiter that makes it easier for you to purchase other things. You start to think "well I need this and I need that ... and oh cool, I want one of those". Walmart is a dangerous place to be.

Now on the way to Walmart, we got the mail. And something my daughter was looking for finally arrived: the DVD made while they were at church camp. A few entries ago I posted about about my kids coming home from church camp. This was something I was also eager to see. So the first thing played on our new low-end progressive scan DVD player bought from Walmart was this DVD.

There were a few shots of both of my kids including my daughter singing a song that she wrote herself. Wow. I heard about this, but I never imagined her getting up in front of people to sing. It was cool to get a short glimpse of it.

Now to address the title of this post. The camp coordinators had a pirate theme this year and the DVD was chock full of goofy pirate antics. They were the self-proclaimed Pirates of the Chickamauga, which I now know is a lake in Georgia. These guys seemed to do their best to make the camp fun for all the teens there. I thank them.

So now, it is evening and we are preparing to watch another DVD. And what better one to watch than Pirates of the Caribbean. So avast thar ye land lubber and stow the rigging. Our DVD player is set sail for pirate adventure.

Arrrrrrrrr!

Yeah, I know that last bit is stupid. But hey, I would rather be watching pirates than doing pilates.




Copyright 2005, Kevin Farley (a.k.a. sixdrift, a.k.a. neuronstatic)

The Volvo

I have all my life driven simple vehicles. I have had a Volkswagon Bug, a Pontiac J2000, an Isuzu I-Mark, a Chevy S10 pickup truck, and I got the Dodge Grand Caravan out of the divorce. But the minivan died. It had a "seizure" and does not run. So for the past month I had been driving a borrowed vehicle from a friend. It is a Ford F-150 pickup truck. But I really needed to get my van fixed or get a vehicle.

Enter the Volvo.

My ex sent me an email about a 1990 Volvo 760 Turbo for sale from her office. I called the guy (an attorney) and arranged to see it. The price was so right, only $1100, so I bought it. It has high mileage and does show its 15 years age. However, it runs, which is more than I can say for my van. So tonight, I took possession of a Volvo.

I have to say, I never before liked Volvo cars. I always thought they were a bit boxy and ... well ... not "cool" looking. However, they are solid cars with an excellent reputation. And I needed a car. But never did I expect to be driving a Volvo. I think I always assumed some kind of stigma about them

Buffy, I just had the Volvo cleaned, must you allow your little dog Muffin to sit in the seat?
Why Bink, wittle Muffin wikes your great big car.
Oh very well poopsie, just keep a towel ready in case Muffin has to tinkle. Ha ha, ha ha ha.

Shudder! I don't even want to consider that again.So I now have a Volvo and I have to shed that stigma. I was told by some friends that this was my "Euro-trash" car. I think that is funny.

I went by to show it to my friends. On the way, I opened a couple of compartment doors. Well, that was less than pleasant. Somehow I got the glove compartment door stuck closed. When I pulled hard enough to open it, a piece of something went flying. And now the door appears to work normally. The center console lid needs fixing as well. Basically I told my friends "if it looks like a door, don't open it".

Well, there are many more problems than that. But as a whole, I like my Volvo. I can't believe I think that, but I do.

So I sit and think about it. I never pictured myself driving a Volvo. But here I am, driving a Volvo. You know if this was anyone else, there would be no reason to even write about it. But this is me we are talking about. You know, the Volvo guy.




Copyright 2005, Kevin Farley (a.k.a. sixdrift, a.k.a. neuronstatic)

Harry Potter, Book 6, Day 2, Chapters 22-30

Aaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrgggggggggghhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!
Ok, now that I have got that out of my system. I must gloat over two things, but I won't spill the beans, no spoilers.

Thing #1, I accurately predicted the identity of a death that features in this book.Thing #2, I accurately predicted the identity of the killer.

Now my suspicion is that killer's motives are not what they appear to be. I believe the killer has different reasons than the obvious ones.

And in continuing with my previous posts on this, I still believe that this is probably my favorite book of the series right now. Though the last chapter nearly changed that. I don't know how J.K.R. will be able to bring this to conclusion in one more book. Unless this is not the plan... Those who read the book may follow me on that one.

Read this book.




Copyright 2005, Kevin Farley (a.k.a. sixdrift, a.k.a. neuronstatic)

Harry Potter, Book 6, Day 2, Chapters 12-21

I wanted to start reading right away last night when I got home, right after I fixed dinner, and right after I did a few things, and right after I got settled in for the evening. So needless to day, I did not get started reading until quite late. So I did not stop reading until it was very late last night, or very early this morning depending on your perspective.

So far the book is proving to be exceptional. I am still quite engaged in the story and I did not want to put the book down. However, when you can't keep your eyes focused, or much less open, it is time to give it a rest. I think tonight I will have finished it and then I can talk to the kids and to my friend Rita about it. She has been "drumming her fingers" waiting patiently - or bursting at the seams, it's one of those two - and not talking about it so far.

There are so many bits I want to talk about in the book. I want to see what others thought about things. But still I want to wait until I am finished reading as I am building up my "solution" to this whodunit. Even pointing to some event as being significant could alter my thoughts and reduce my expectations.

This is a good book.



Copyright 2005, Kevin Farley (a.k.a. sixdrift, a.k.a. neuronstatic)

Harry Potter, Book 6, Day 1, Chapters 1-11

Well I was patient and my kids finished reading Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince the other day. So I started reading last night. And I stayed up too late. It was that engaging. So what follows is my reaction so far.

First off I want to say that this has so far proven to me to be J.K.R.'s finest writing. She was good from the start, but now she is nothing less than excellent. I started reading last night and in the first few pages I thought to myself "wow, she has really done it this time". Rats! I did not want to use the "wow" word like my friends Rita and Lynette. But it does fit.

And like Lynette experienced, when I realized I was one third of the way through the book, I was thinking to myself "I don't want this to end that quickly". But at the same time I was reading as though the next page might contain the cure for cancer or something. I just kept reading until my eyes finally wouldn't focus last night. I did not want to put it down. It is that good.

I expect to be completely through it by tomorrow night, or possibly tonight. It just depends on distractions. And with two teens at home, there are distractions. But both of them are also waiting for me to finish it so we can discuss it openly. I told them I did not want to hear any spoilers and so far they have been very nice about it. But they also make sly little hints to each other. I just do my best Gollum impersonation, clasp my hands over my ears and repeat "not listening! not listening!"

Updates of reading progress to follow. I can't wait to get home from work and start it again.




Copyright 2005, Kevin Farley (a.k.a. sixdrift, a.k.a. neuronstatic)

Church Camp and Crowbars

My two teens spent last week at church camp in Colorado. It was a quiet week at home, except for the sounds of explosions, gunfire, and total carnage. I spent most of the week's free time playing Mercenaries, a game of incredible violence in warfare. And incredibly fun. Yes, it's true, I played games and did nothing really productive.

When they came back on Saturday, I was eager to hear the stories they brought back with them. When I sent them on their way over a week ago, I gave them these three instructions:

1. Do nothing to get thrown out from camp, I can't come to get you.
2. Do nothing stupid to get yourself or anyone else hurt, I can't come to get you.
3. Push the limits and have fun, I would like to be there too.

So I was naturally interested if they had fun. And I also was a little worried that they may have taken my instructions a little too seriously, specifically #3, and had done something to get in trouble.

Well, I won't go into all the details here. I just want to leave a teaser. My daughter started a story with "we had to steal the crowbar from the boys' cabin". Well, that was quite an opener. Essentially they needed the crowbar to do a little .... stealthy acquisition of team flags and provide secure storage of said flags over the following days. Yeah, they stole the team flags :-)

And to cover tracks, they "stole" their own flag as well. Clever. Really it was just a harmless prank involving several of the girls. I thought it was hysterical. Especially hearing how one of the kids at camp had "developed a weird emotional attachment" (my daughter's words) to their team flag.

So I asked my son, "why did you guys take a crowbar with you?" He said "oh we didn't take one, bought one on the way." There is only one response to that. So I said "That makes sense. But next time you guys need one of those all-in-one tools with screwdrivers and a hammer as well. Some pliers may come in handy also."

I know that many of you would disagree with me and say that I am encouraging sinful behavior that could lead my kids to a life of sin and crime and they spend the rest of their lives in prison for stealing national treasures to sell on the Russian black market or end up as members of a terrorist organization. Yes, that is a ridiculous exaggeration. Life for teens does not have to be so serious, IMHO.

Life should be fun. My kids have had a lot of un-fun this year. This year, their mother walked out on us and now now we are divorced. Early on in the year, we didn't have much extra cash for doing fun things. They are going to start public school for the first time this fall. And in general, it has been a rough year. Yes I encouraged my kids to explore the rules and find how to poke holes in them a bit. Yes I encouraged my kids to have fun.

Yes there is satisfaction and fulfillment in being model citizens and model Christian children. But often, the standards set by many legalists offer no joy, no satisfaction, and no fun. They mostly offer only guilt. And they are typically unsupportable by scriptures and represent the mantra of the modern Pharisees.

Jesus laughed. Jesus smiled. And I believe that at times, Jesus had a bit of fun talking smack with the established religious leaders and the Pharisees. He is clever and witty. He is a model citizen of God's kingdom. He is merciful. He is not a legalist stick in the mud. Jesus is cool. So more than anything, I encourage my kids to be like Jesus.

I've Been Harry Potter'ed

The other night was the big event all the Harry Potter fans have been waiting for: the release of Half-Blood Prince. I was in a book store along with about 1200 other people counting down the hours until they started selling the books. I understood that there were about 600 people outside in line as well. I arrived around 8:30 and I was still well back in the queue. They assigned group letters and I was "G". I didn't get my books (yes plural, both kids both want to read it and this is far better than trying to work out sharing plans) until about 12:30.

They had a costume competition and a little Veela won. However, I was rooting for a very realistic Dobby complete with grubby pillow case, if you can imagine. And as we approached the last moments before midnight, there was an in-store unison countdown of the last 10 seconds with a quite loud roar of enthusiasm and applause at midnight. And then the lines started to move.

It was interesting, weird, at moments fun, but if nothing else, it was enlightening. I did a lot of people watching. Having two teens myself, I was especially curious to watch the teens moving around the stored. In general they were all just trying to have a bit of fun. And though many were dressed in wizarding robes, often with accessories (like wands), and sometimes other garments that I could only guess their meaning (some appeared to have the wrong book in mind), still these teens were trying to preserve their "cool". They were trying to balance between "look I am cool enough to act a bit silly and not worry about it" and the dreaded "look I am acting so silly I am no longer cool, but its fun."

Now I have to wait until at least one of my kids is done with their book so I can read it. Maybe if I cross a bit of Hogwarts with D&D, I could cast a hastening spell on them and get it quicker :-)

Living My Life

Who lives your life for you? Do you live your life for yourself? Do you live vicariously through others? These are important questions. And as I have learned, can have significant consequences at times.

It is difficult to piece together your life again when it has been turned upside down. And the one place you turn to is your friends. But what happens when your friends believe they know what you're doing even when you don't? What about when your friends believe they know what you're doing when they really are quite wrong, but won't believe you? What about when your friends offer you advice that is really not conducive to your personal goals? And finally, what about when your friends simply do not like your way of living your life, and they abandon you?

Well, I can tell you, it really depends on your friends. A casual friend will mostly accept what you do and let it pass. A closer friend may counsel you and take a stronger interest in your thoughts and your actions. A really close friend may try to take the reigns and steer you down they path they think best. And there is every possible variation on those that you will see.

But it is that last category that causes the most pain. A really close friend may really have your best interest at heart. They may sacrifice time and energy trying to help you solve your problems. But they may also may take it personal when you don't see things their way. Let me illustrate by way of real life example.

Because I recently have found myself in a strange new world - the divorced adult single dating world - I can honestly say I really don't know what I am doing now. Yet at the same time, I do have a pretty good idea of the end goals that I want to see myself reach. So while I can't really say "hey, I know what I am doing", I can readily say "I know I don't want to do that."

Some of my casual friends have given me some reasonable advice - take it slow, keep the faith, look for character and integrity, and other really rational gems. But some of this advice has been.... well not what I want for me. For example, I was advised by one friend to "take at least a year after divorce before you even begin to start dating." Uh..... no. I do not want to do that. I do not want to be that lonely that long, unless it is God's will that I be that alone that long. And I would know if it was His will if that is what happened.

Another friend told me "date a lot, find out what all kinds of women are like until you find what you want." Well, I don't think that is what I really want to do either. I don't want to date for the sake of dating. And that could lead me to temptation (or bankruptcy).

And in those cases of the casual friend, they really didn't care if I took their advice or not. They just wanted to offer it. But they are not emotionally invested enough to really wait for the follow-through. That is OK. We should have different friends at different levels. It helps us to strike a balance.

Now some of my closer friends have offered similar rational advice but then watch the follow-through. They ask questions, they are sometimes concerned with my actions, but they are always supportive. Even when I make a mistake (which is inevitable), they are there to try to help me carry on.

But sadly, a very close friend has chosen a different tactic. From my perspective, this friend approves of nothing I do, if I do not do exactly as he would have me do it. I am not joking. Whether real or only perception, this is exactly how it seems. For example, my friend was there through my divorce and was tired of dealing with some of the issues - I do not blame him for this - and told me "I do not want to hear about your personal life anymore." Well, I felt abandoned, but I know I had been a burden to them. So I did as requested. Now comes the hard part.

I keep my private life, and specifically my dating life, to myself, sharing nothing of it with my friend. However, he continued to think on it, and had decided, quite on his own, that he "knew" what I was actually doing, even though I was saying nothing. Well, that is disheartening, but not enough to damage the friendship. But then, because he is so convinced he knows that I have embarked on some strange path and that I am being secretive about it, that he completely refuses to believe me when I refute his claims. He calls me a liar and abandons me again. That hurts.

I asked my friend "so you think I am hiding something and I am doing something secretive when you see me just doing my thing because I don't tell you about it, when you told me not to tell you?" I then asked "do you want to me to share my personal life with you or not? If you do I will, I have nothing to hide, but why do you condemn me as secretive because I do not do what you would do, but instead you see me doing what I want to do, and you told me not to tell you about it?" I don't know the answers to these questions because he gave none.

I would hope that time would heal these wounds. Those I have inflicted, and those he has inflicted. And I will still be his friend, but the dynamics are certainly different now. I know that he believes me to be a liar, so trust will be difficult to maintain in both directions.

So I have decided to live my life, make my mistakes, and take my consequences. This does not mean I am just going to live wild and free as if there is no tomorrow. On the contrary, it means that I will continue to seek wise counsel and live as a follower of Christ. I will at times take that counsel, and at times I will not take it based solely on my own personal goals, experiences, and beliefs compared to the advice giver. This does not mean that I do not respect them, it only means that I do not see things their particular way.

It is the only life I have. Betrayal and divorce  have ruined it enough. I just want to live out what is left of it as I think best. I am not perfect, nor would I claim to be. I am stumbling through life as it is, carrying an enormous load. Please don't burden me with more of it by projecting yourself onto my life, it can't carry the weight of more than one at a time.

A Gasoline Shower

A more appropriate title for this post could be:

What To Do When A Gas Pump Spews Gasoline All Over The Place

I stopped at a gas station yesterday on my way home from work. I was standing there between the pumps talking to a friend of mine who was also there. Then we heard a shower of gasoline spewing from the top of the gas pump all over the side of some lady's car and the ground. And listen, when a gas pump is fully running it cranks out some gas. There was a lot quickly.

The lady looked at me and said "what do I do?" I immediately responded "emergency cutoff switch!" And then I began to look for it. Guess what. They put that switch close to the building so the employees can get to it quickly. I didn't find it. So I did the next logical thing. I braved the shower of gasoline to grab the pump handle, removed it from the car and put it back on the pump. And yes that shut off the gas.

Now by this time both of my arms are fully soaked in gasoline. It was on my shoes, my pants, and my watch. I can still smell it as I write this.

Why did this happen?

You know that "break-away" feature of the gas pump handle and hose? That is the bit that breaks apart (and theoretically shuts off the flow of gas) in case you drive off with the pump handle still in your car. Well that is where the gas was spewing from.

According to the employee at the gas station (and I am sorry but he was such the stereotypical Indian convenience store clerk, it was too funny), that pump was already broken. They left the pump handle in its cradle even though the hose was disconnected. I presume this was so the other handles would work correctly. Now the lady did not see that the hose was laying on the ground and did not connect above her head. Hey, I run on autopilot so much, I could easily make that mistake. I guess being a bit ADD and OCD helps me to spot those kinds of things.

A little gasoline doesn't smell all that bad. Add a little more and it reeks. Take a shower in it and it REALLY stinks!

So take my advice, don't drink and drive, don't do drugs, tip your server, go to church, and always survey the gas station and its pumps before you crank it up.

This has been a public service announcement of the I Don't Want to Take Gasoline Showers Foundation and not the Will Rogers Institute. Had this been an actual emergency, you would have seen me speeding past you. Taxes and tags not included and your mileage may vary.

More Teenage Estrogen

Well I spent another day at the mall with my teenage daughter and her friends. The pack seems to be more tolerant of my presence now. I can study their flocking behavior without them reacting to my presence. On more than one occasion, I was in the immediate vicinity of them when they were seeking prey and going for the kill without them being spooked.

Teens in the wild are quite impressive in their stalking abiities. They can sneak up on shoes, skirts, shirts, candy, and the more unusual items in a mall with the ease of a lioness prowling the open grasslands. I have seen them dodge competing flocks, redirect their stalking to a new target, and in general, show their impressive abilities as modern hunters.

But the most important thing was I got to spend the day with my daughter. All kidding aside, I love my daughter and I am very happy to take her to the mall and spend time with her.

And in the teen language - peace out! The adult translation is "May God be with you".