As I have written about before, I am a Linux user, not a Windows user. I do not use Microsoft Windows nor do I miss it. However, as I pondered what it was that others were doing on Windows that I could not do, a few popular games came to mind. Granted, these are popular from the perspective that people play them weekly or sometimes daily on MS Windows, and they must really like them because they keep playing them.
No, I am not talking about the mammoth titles like Halo or Call of Duty or something like that. These are more fundamental games that all Windows users play. No, it's not Solitaire either, we have a dozen or more of those on Linux. Here is the list of games I have found so far that are unique to Windows and I don't get to play on Linux:
1) Whack-A-Virus
This seems to be the most popular game. People spend hundreds of dollars on this game software they get form Symantec, McAfee and others. There are also freeware versions of the software to play this game as well. The basic premise of the game is that your computer is infected with a host of malware and you must eliminate all the little nasties. So you have to run, re-run, and re-run the "game" software again and again until you whacked all the virus baddies. In the end, it seems that most people end up giving up because they can't get past the boss bugs and they simply reinstall their beloved Windows operating system.
2) Lockup 2011!
This is a very popular game it seems. The premise of the game is at random and unpredictable times, your computer completely freezes and you are then in Lockup! The goal is to get out of lockup as quickly as possible to get that work done or email sent or document printed before it is a real problem. You can still see everything on the screen, usually, but you cannot click on anything or do anything. You are to try multiple combinations of key presses to try to get the screen to change. Most people just reboot, which I consider cheating.
3) Blue Screens of Death!
This has long been a commonly played game on Windows that started in the dark ages of the operating system's life. The premise of the game is that you are someone using a computer and at completely random times your display goes completely blue, everything stops, and it prints some strange runes on the screen. These runes come from an alien race that wants to enslave you. Your task, if you choose to accept it, is to try to copy down those runes, interpret them, and find out what they mean. Only then can you avoid enslavement. Again, most people just cheat and reboot.
4) Fork It Over
This game is not played by everyone because it is expensive to play. Basically you are trying to do something on your computer and you find that you can't get it done because you are blocked by the Ogres of Dire Need. The Ogres need a special app, or a new version of an app, or a license for a feature of an app. So to get past them, you must go purchase said app/update/license and thus "fork it over" in cash to the Internet vendors. Only then can you appease the Ogres of Dire Need and get work done.
5) Blame!
This game is kind of tricky and is a kind of MMO. In the game, you are a computer user and randomly something will crash, either part of the operating system or an application. Once that happens, you then start the blame game. I say tricky because you have to establish contact with the Mystics of Windows or the mages that created the application and go through the problem with each and listen to the stories of "it's not our fault, it's theirs" to establish who you think the blame belongs to. In the end you will always be wrong because the secret of the game is the NPCs consider the fault is due to the user. With this game, you can even PUG by finding others with similar crashes. There is a cheat code, it's called "reinstall".
6) Wheels of Time
This game is a very slow one. Kind of like playing chess by snail mail. The premise of the game is the system will get slower and slower over time. Your task is to put up with as much slowness as possible before you can't take it any further. It's an odd game, because the goal is to wait it out as long as possible, but the consequences get worse the longer you wait. Kind of a catch-22 situation. The reward for waiting long enough is you get to buy a new computer and avoid all the slowness. If you can't wait long enough, you are punished by having to get your computer tuned up by either doing it yourself or paying someone to do it. For some reason, most people end up being really patient and "win".
7) Needle, Haystack, Ghost
This game is really engaging I am told. The idea is you have a valuable item, call it a file, and you save it on your computer. Then a ghost in your computer moves the item, placing a trail of breadcrumbs in many folders. If you get too close to finding it, the ghost may move it again. Ultimately it may even be hidden in the Trash Can. You usually realize this after emptying it, so it's not perfect.
So there you have it 7 "popular" PC games that are pretty much only played on Windows. There have been reports of minor variants of these games on Macs and Linux, but to be honest, the only one I find close is "Needle, Haystack, Ghost." Come to think of it, that game could be played on about any computer. It just seems to be real popular on Windows where not all applications store things in expected places.
I really don't miss playing those games. I am very glad those days are over. Now it's time to get back to work, which by the way really hasn't stopped. My Linux computer has been churning away building code, sorting files, and doing about 30 things at once all day. You can get a lot more done when you don't have those 7 games to play.
Copyright 2011, Kevin Farley (a.k.a. sixdrift, a.k.a. neuronstatic)
