It has been quite a while since I last wrote an update to this blog. Probably because this has been a very unusual summer and every time I thought of something to write, I had about 30 things come to mind all at once. So I kept putting it off. But finally, I need to write something. This one is from an event a few weeks ago, but still very much in my mind.
Some time ago I wrote of my first time going to a Renaissance Faire. It was strange, wonderful, and in general entertaining. Well, it had been over a year since I had been to one and my wife and I took the whole family over to Charlotte to the Carolina Renaissance Festival. This was the first time for my three step-daughters, but my own son and daughter were becoming old hands at it now.
Everyone decided to dress up a bit to get into the spirit of things. Well, everyone except me. My son wore the full length hooded cloak my wife made for him, my daughters all wore some kind of attire that reeked of antiquity, and even my wife wore a strange skirt and the blouse that she wouldn't typically wear (hey, its the Renaissance Festival, use your imagination). I wore blue jeans, tennis shoes, a tee shirt, and my "mosquito" shirt over that. I would try to describe the mosquito shirt, but you should really be drinking first to appreciate the description.
We all had a good time. We let the three older kids wander around a bit on their own while my wife and I kept the two younger ones busy. We saw some old favorites, the amazing candle carving guy, London Broil, and a few others. We also saw an act I had not seen before that was hilarious, the Tortuga Twins. We laughed at those three guys (yes 3, yes they call themselves the Tortuga Twins, no I do not know why) almost non-stop. They had to warn parents that as the day progressed, they got drunker and naughtier. We saw the first show of the day. The last must have been a trip.
Throughout the day we saw fools, knights, elves, sprites, pixies, knaves, and probably even a few highwaymen. We saw the regular assortment of corseted maids jiggling their bosoms as renaissance maids are known to do. We saw belly dancers (Jewels of the Caravan) and musicians. We saw gawkers and hawkers, lookers and hookers. We saw everything you can imagine seeing at a Renaissance Festival. And then we saw something I never expected to see at a Renaissance Festival.
I saw a storm trooper wearing a kilt.
Yes. A storm trooper wearing a kilt. I know its sounds like it, but I never touched the king's ale, I swear. It was a guy wearing a storm trooper helmet and upper armor, and a plaid kilt. For those of you with nothing better to do and are seriously AR, it was a green plaid with dark blue.
So I felt my day at the Renaissance Festival was complete. I saw the glimpses of the Renaissance and I saw glimpses of the Empire, all in the same day, all at the same place.
Geek heaven don't ya think?
Well, a couple of weeks later I chaperoned one of my daughter's class trips to the very same Renaissance Festival. I knew that nothing could outdo seeing Boba McFett, but I did see something different.
There it was. About 10 feet tall. An Ent.
Yes ladies and gentlemen, the Ents came marching one by one. Now if any of you do not know what an Ent is, well, its a walking tree and I don't know why you continued to read this far if you did not know as this entire thing is... well... geeky... in all aspects. And geeks know what Ents are.
Ah, Renaissance Festivals and Faires. Never is man privileged to see more jiggling cleavage and not have his wife drag him out of the place than at the Faire. Not that I was looking though. I just bring it up to make a point. Really.
Eating cooked meat off a stick or right off the bone. Speaking in pseudo-Old English with really bad accents. Spending too much money. And walking through mud.
Yeah. Simply awesome.
Copyright 2006, Kevin Farley (a.k.a. sixdrift, a.k.a. neuronstatic)
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