A few weeks ago I traveled "home" to have Thanksgiving with my parents. This was the first time my two teenage children have ever been to see my parents for Thanksgiving. This year is the first Thanksgiving in our new family, a blended family, one created from the remains of two families.
It was about two years ago that my ex-wife told me she was leaving. At that time she told me that she was taking both children with her. Things however turned out differently than she had planned. Her actions and inactions caught up with her and both kids made it clear they were staying with me.
It was also over two years ago that in another family over 1000 miles away told his wife and his daughters that he was leaving. This left a mother and three little girls alone while he went on to move in with another woman.
So there we were, two broken families, two lonely hurting people, and a total of five hurting children, fearful of the future and angry at the past and present. But we were over 1000 miles apart and we did not even know of the existence, or plight, of each other.
But God, in His mercy, brought these two lonely hurting people together, using technology to span the gap of distance and cross the bounds of our local areas. And in a quickness of time and events that defy natural explanation, we married after only a few months since first meeting in that first email exchange.
So here we are, over a year later, a blended family of seven total. Amy loving wife gladly agreed that we could have Thanksgiving with my parents. And instead of spending my time thinking of past Thanksgivings and my years growing up in that house, I couldn't help but think of the Thanksgivings to come. I look forward to those years to come with my dear wife and this zany blended family.
I took a walk outside with my son and as I walked around the house one morning, he went back inside to see his grandmother and I walked out to the back alley that comes down behind the one row of houses there. I walked up the alley studying how time has changed it. Once it was well graveled and well traveled. Now it was showing the obvious signs of a lack of traffic. This back alley once had many cars, pickups, and bicycles moving on it each day. But time has changed this alley and this whole community.
What I most noticed about the alley was the grass growing on it. As I thought on this, I remembered many of the times as a kid I repaired that alley and kept the grass at bay. I used to be seen often with a wheelbarrow and shovel going up and down the alley, fixing holes and fighting problems. Often I would even correct situations before they became a problem, like keeping the stream cleared out that flowed behind the alley.
As I thought about this a while, I decided that I don't really mind the grass growing on that back alley. While I know that if nothing is done, the grass could eventually overtake the gravel and the alley would fall into disrepair. But that grass covers the past and creates opportunities for others to make new repairs of their own. And these repairs were indeed being done. The upper end of the alley had a good load of new gravel on it. The stream behind the alley had been cleared to prevent it from overflowing into the alley, a frequent problem I fought for years. And many mistakes of the past had been covered, repaired, or simply replaced.
The slow march of time continues on, unstoppable and unabated by any of our efforts. But over time, we are constantly building the road of life ahead of us. And when the grass appears behind us, it is merely covering the road we have come so that we don't try to go back. That grass covers the old road of our past.
In my own life, my road had fallen into disrepair and the grass was catching up to me. I did not have much good road ahead of me. That was when I started to work on my road again in earnest. That was when my grass covered road came to an intersection with another grass covered road, the one my dear wife was on. And together we are building a new road and work diligently to ensure the grass does not grow up around our feet, but stays firmly behind us, where it belongs.
So as the grass grows on all these old roads, it covers the old life each of us walked in a blanket of green. It covers the mistakes, the holes, the rough spots, and even the smooth parts. I really don't mind the grass growing on our old roads. That grass holds the past in place behind us and make the road backwards impassable.
Our job each day is to keep our road ahead maintained. We are to patch the holes, smooth over the rough spots, and sometimes just enjoy the ride, whether bumpy or smooth. So we let the grass grow in the past, but we keep the road of today and tomorrow clear.
I am blessed because I don't have to work on my road alone. I have my wife and this wonderful, chaotic, and loving family all working together. I know that one by one, they will each set off to build roads of their own. I pray that I have shown them enough so they know how to build and maintain their road. And eventually, like my parents, it will be just the two of us, my wife and I, with wheelbarrows and shovels, together, still building and maintaining our shared road.
Copyright 2006, Kevin Farley (a.k.a. sixdrift, a.k.a. neuronstatic)
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