God Loaded My Fortune Cookie

Now honestly, I don't believe in fortune cookies. In fact, we like to play the silly games with fortune cookies. Like adding "that's what she said" after you read the fortune. When the kids aren't around, we add "in bed" to the end of the fortune. You know the deal, I am not telling you anything earth-shattering.

Anyway, several times lately, we have had several timely fortunes. It was laughable. For example, we were sitting at a Chinese restaurant - which by the way advertises "hunan style cuisine", but we like to refer to it as "human style cuisine" but that is beside the point - and we had just been trying to encourage my daughter to broaden her food selections. Yes she is a picky eater. Actually she is a real picky eater. In reality, she eats just 5 foods on the planet and that is about it. Okay, I am exaggerating. But still, we had just encouraged her to eat carrots. She said "I know, some day they will say that carrots cure cancer or something like that." About 2 minutes later, she opened her fortune cookie. And this is what it read:

A carrot a day will keep the cancer away.

That was hysterical. And in that same setting, I had been talking about someone who had been making disparaging remarks about me. We were discussing this when I read my fortune cookie:

Hard words may not break bones, but fine words butter no parsnips.

I thought about that one a bit. It seems more obvious now. But basically, it was very timely as well. And then now, ok it was just the other day, I had one that exactly answered a question. Let me set this up first. I have recently found myself single for the first time in 18 years. I have been talking to God a lot about this too - as you can imagine. I know that God is in charge of things and taking care of it. And yet occasionally, I get frustrated, or low, or something, or just plain lonely. At those times I ask God "what are you doing?" Well I was asking God about this the other day. I had bought the kids a box of fortune cookies - yes I know what you are thinking "surely you didn't", but I did - and I said "ok God, tell me something." And this was what I read, and I promise you it is the absolute truth:

He who has faith, has everything.

I was stunned to say the least. So I still don't believe in fortune cookies. But I have always believed in the humor of God. He has an incredible sense of humor and indulges poor idiots like myself. Thanks God. Thanks for being there, and thanks for being real.