14 Things I Will Never Do

1. I will never butter the nose of a panda.
2. I will never eat the moon.
3. I will never spin cotton candy in the Taj Mahal.
4. I will never lick King Tut's mummy toes.
5. I will never transform into a gigantic killer robot from space.
6. I will never play kickball with Captain Kirk.
7. I will never start a global movement to lobby for the emancipation of leeches.
8. I will never carry a suspension bridge in my pocket.
9. I will never count to infinity.
10. I will never drill a hole through the earth with a platypus.
11. I will never polish the rings of Saturn.
12. I will never paint the Washington Monument with neon green highlighters.
13. I will never cross the galaxy on the back of a harmonica-playing otter.
14. I will never regret not doing stupid things.


Copyright 2007, Kevin Farley (a.k.a. sixdrift, a.k.a. neuronstatic)