Today was a lazy day. And late this afternoon, I fixed some pasta for the kids. We were going to settle down, eat pasta, and watch Pirates of the Caribbean on DVD. That was when we discovered that the DVD player was dead. It had died sometime in the night, with a quiet passing. We know that our old DVD player was not the best, it had its quirks, but it had been a faithful family friend for years. And now it has gone on to its not so final resting ground, the dumpster.
Actually come to think of it, that DVD player sucked. It was very picky at times. It would get confused about whether it was loading or unloading and sometimes would just do random things. And what was most irritating was that the only way the remote worked reliably was if you pointed it directly at the receiver with a 2 degree inclination at a distance of no more than 17 millimeters. So, good riddance to old junk.
A quick check on the walmart.com site showed me what I was looking for. They have a progressive scan DVD player for less than $40. Now I know, you get what you pay for, but if this only lasts a year, it was worth it. So off to Walmart to get a new DVD player. Of course once in Walmart, they have a neural limiter that makes it easier for you to purchase other things. You start to think "well I need this and I need that ... and oh cool, I want one of those". Walmart is a dangerous place to be.
Now on the way to Walmart, we got the mail. And something my daughter was looking for finally arrived: the DVD made while they were at church camp. A few entries ago I posted about about my kids coming home from church camp. This was something I was also eager to see. So the first thing played on our new low-end progressive scan DVD player bought from Walmart was this DVD.
There were a few shots of both of my kids including my daughter singing a song that she wrote herself. Wow. I heard about this, but I never imagined her getting up in front of people to sing. It was cool to get a short glimpse of it.
Now to address the title of this post. The camp coordinators had a pirate theme this year and the DVD was chock full of goofy pirate antics. They were the self-proclaimed Pirates of the Chickamauga, which I now know is a lake in Georgia. These guys seemed to do their best to make the camp fun for all the teens there. I thank them.
So now, it is evening and we are preparing to watch another DVD. And what better one to watch than Pirates of the Caribbean. So avast thar ye land lubber and stow the rigging. Our DVD player is set sail for pirate adventure.
Arrrrrrrrr!
Yeah, I know that last bit is stupid. But hey, I would rather be watching pirates than doing pilates.
Copyright 2005, Kevin Farley (a.k.a. sixdrift, a.k.a. neuronstatic)
Saturday, July 30, 2005
Thursday, July 28, 2005
The Volvo
I have all my life driven simple vehicles. I have had a Volkswagon Bug, a Pontiac J2000, an Isuzu I-Mark, a Chevy S10 pickup truck, and I got the Dodge Grand Caravan out of the divorce. But the minivan died. It had a "seizure" and does not run. So for the past month I had been driving a borrowed vehicle from a friend. It is a Ford F-150 pickup truck. But I really needed to get my van fixed or get a vehicle.
Enter the Volvo.
My ex sent me an email about a 1990 Volvo 760 Turbo for sale from her office. I called the guy (an attorney) and arranged to see it. The price was so right, only $1100, so I bought it. It has high mileage and does show its 15 years age. However, it runs, which is more than I can say for my van. So tonight, I took possession of a Volvo.
I have to say, I never before liked Volvo cars. I always thought they were a bit boxy and ... well ... not "cool" looking. However, they are solid cars with an excellent reputation. And I needed a car. But never did I expect to be driving a Volvo. I think I always assumed some kind of stigma about them
Shudder! I don't even want to consider that again.So I now have a Volvo and I have to shed that stigma. I was told by some friends that this was my "Euro-trash" car. I think that is funny.
I went by to show it to my friends. On the way, I opened a couple of compartment doors. Well, that was less than pleasant. Somehow I got the glove compartment door stuck closed. When I pulled hard enough to open it, a piece of something went flying. And now the door appears to work normally. The center console lid needs fixing as well. Basically I told my friends "if it looks like a door, don't open it".
Well, there are many more problems than that. But as a whole, I like my Volvo. I can't believe I think that, but I do.
So I sit and think about it. I never pictured myself driving a Volvo. But here I am, driving a Volvo. You know if this was anyone else, there would be no reason to even write about it. But this is me we are talking about. You know, the Volvo guy.
Copyright 2005, Kevin Farley (a.k.a. sixdrift, a.k.a. neuronstatic)
Enter the Volvo.
My ex sent me an email about a 1990 Volvo 760 Turbo for sale from her office. I called the guy (an attorney) and arranged to see it. The price was so right, only $1100, so I bought it. It has high mileage and does show its 15 years age. However, it runs, which is more than I can say for my van. So tonight, I took possession of a Volvo.
I have to say, I never before liked Volvo cars. I always thought they were a bit boxy and ... well ... not "cool" looking. However, they are solid cars with an excellent reputation. And I needed a car. But never did I expect to be driving a Volvo. I think I always assumed some kind of stigma about them
Buffy, I just had the Volvo cleaned, must you allow your little dog Muffin to sit in the seat?
Why Bink, wittle Muffin wikes your great big car.
Oh very well poopsie, just keep a towel ready in case Muffin has to tinkle. Ha ha, ha ha ha.
Shudder! I don't even want to consider that again.So I now have a Volvo and I have to shed that stigma. I was told by some friends that this was my "Euro-trash" car. I think that is funny.
I went by to show it to my friends. On the way, I opened a couple of compartment doors. Well, that was less than pleasant. Somehow I got the glove compartment door stuck closed. When I pulled hard enough to open it, a piece of something went flying. And now the door appears to work normally. The center console lid needs fixing as well. Basically I told my friends "if it looks like a door, don't open it".
Well, there are many more problems than that. But as a whole, I like my Volvo. I can't believe I think that, but I do.
So I sit and think about it. I never pictured myself driving a Volvo. But here I am, driving a Volvo. You know if this was anyone else, there would be no reason to even write about it. But this is me we are talking about. You know, the Volvo guy.
Copyright 2005, Kevin Farley (a.k.a. sixdrift, a.k.a. neuronstatic)
Friday, July 22, 2005
Harry Potter, Book 6, Day 2, Chapters 22-30
Aaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrgggggggggghhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!
Ok, now that I have got that out of my system. I must gloat over two things, but I won't spill the beans, no spoilers.
Thing #1, I accurately predicted the identity of a death that features in this book.Thing #2, I accurately predicted the identity of the killer.
Now my suspicion is that killer's motives are not what they appear to be. I believe the killer has different reasons than the obvious ones.
And in continuing with my previous posts on this, I still believe that this is probably my favorite book of the series right now. Though the last chapter nearly changed that. I don't know how J.K.R. will be able to bring this to conclusion in one more book. Unless this is not the plan... Those who read the book may follow me on that one.
Read this book.
Copyright 2005, Kevin Farley (a.k.a. sixdrift, a.k.a. neuronstatic)
Ok, now that I have got that out of my system. I must gloat over two things, but I won't spill the beans, no spoilers.
Thing #1, I accurately predicted the identity of a death that features in this book.Thing #2, I accurately predicted the identity of the killer.
Now my suspicion is that killer's motives are not what they appear to be. I believe the killer has different reasons than the obvious ones.
And in continuing with my previous posts on this, I still believe that this is probably my favorite book of the series right now. Though the last chapter nearly changed that. I don't know how J.K.R. will be able to bring this to conclusion in one more book. Unless this is not the plan... Those who read the book may follow me on that one.
Read this book.
Copyright 2005, Kevin Farley (a.k.a. sixdrift, a.k.a. neuronstatic)
Thursday, July 21, 2005
Harry Potter, Book 6, Day 2, Chapters 12-21
I wanted to start reading right away last night when I got home, right after I fixed dinner, and right after I did a few things, and right after I got settled in for the evening. So needless to day, I did not get started reading until quite late. So I did not stop reading until it was very late last night, or very early this morning depending on your perspective.
So far the book is proving to be exceptional. I am still quite engaged in the story and I did not want to put the book down. However, when you can't keep your eyes focused, or much less open, it is time to give it a rest. I think tonight I will have finished it and then I can talk to the kids and to my friend Rita about it. She has been "drumming her fingers" waiting patiently - or bursting at the seams, it's one of those two - and not talking about it so far.
There are so many bits I want to talk about in the book. I want to see what others thought about things. But still I want to wait until I am finished reading as I am building up my "solution" to this whodunit. Even pointing to some event as being significant could alter my thoughts and reduce my expectations.
This is a good book.
Copyright 2005, Kevin Farley (a.k.a. sixdrift, a.k.a. neuronstatic)
So far the book is proving to be exceptional. I am still quite engaged in the story and I did not want to put the book down. However, when you can't keep your eyes focused, or much less open, it is time to give it a rest. I think tonight I will have finished it and then I can talk to the kids and to my friend Rita about it. She has been "drumming her fingers" waiting patiently - or bursting at the seams, it's one of those two - and not talking about it so far.
There are so many bits I want to talk about in the book. I want to see what others thought about things. But still I want to wait until I am finished reading as I am building up my "solution" to this whodunit. Even pointing to some event as being significant could alter my thoughts and reduce my expectations.
This is a good book.
Copyright 2005, Kevin Farley (a.k.a. sixdrift, a.k.a. neuronstatic)
Wednesday, July 20, 2005
Harry Potter, Book 6, Day 1, Chapters 1-11
Well I was patient and my kids finished reading Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince the other day. So I started reading last night. And I stayed up too late. It was that engaging. So what follows is my reaction so far.
First off I want to say that this has so far proven to me to be J.K.R.'s finest writing. She was good from the start, but now she is nothing less than excellent. I started reading last night and in the first few pages I thought to myself "wow, she has really done it this time". Rats! I did not want to use the "wow" word like my friends Rita and Lynette. But it does fit.
And like Lynette experienced, when I realized I was one third of the way through the book, I was thinking to myself "I don't want this to end that quickly". But at the same time I was reading as though the next page might contain the cure for cancer or something. I just kept reading until my eyes finally wouldn't focus last night. I did not want to put it down. It is that good.
I expect to be completely through it by tomorrow night, or possibly tonight. It just depends on distractions. And with two teens at home, there are distractions. But both of them are also waiting for me to finish it so we can discuss it openly. I told them I did not want to hear any spoilers and so far they have been very nice about it. But they also make sly little hints to each other. I just do my best Gollum impersonation, clasp my hands over my ears and repeat "not listening! not listening!"
Updates of reading progress to follow. I can't wait to get home from work and start it again.
Copyright 2005, Kevin Farley (a.k.a. sixdrift, a.k.a. neuronstatic)
First off I want to say that this has so far proven to me to be J.K.R.'s finest writing. She was good from the start, but now she is nothing less than excellent. I started reading last night and in the first few pages I thought to myself "wow, she has really done it this time". Rats! I did not want to use the "wow" word like my friends Rita and Lynette. But it does fit.
And like Lynette experienced, when I realized I was one third of the way through the book, I was thinking to myself "I don't want this to end that quickly". But at the same time I was reading as though the next page might contain the cure for cancer or something. I just kept reading until my eyes finally wouldn't focus last night. I did not want to put it down. It is that good.
I expect to be completely through it by tomorrow night, or possibly tonight. It just depends on distractions. And with two teens at home, there are distractions. But both of them are also waiting for me to finish it so we can discuss it openly. I told them I did not want to hear any spoilers and so far they have been very nice about it. But they also make sly little hints to each other. I just do my best Gollum impersonation, clasp my hands over my ears and repeat "not listening! not listening!"
Updates of reading progress to follow. I can't wait to get home from work and start it again.
Copyright 2005, Kevin Farley (a.k.a. sixdrift, a.k.a. neuronstatic)
Tuesday, July 19, 2005
Church Camp and Crowbars
My two teens spent last week at church camp in Colorado. It was a quiet week at home, except for the sounds of explosions, gunfire, and total carnage. I spent most of the week's free time playing Mercenaries, a game of incredible violence in warfare. And incredibly fun. Yes, it's true, I played games and did nothing really productive.
When they came back on Saturday, I was eager to hear the stories they brought back with them. When I sent them on their way over a week ago, I gave them these three instructions:
Well, I won't go into all the details here. I just want to leave a teaser. My daughter started a story with "we had to steal the crowbar from the boys' cabin". Well, that was quite an opener. Essentially they needed the crowbar to do a little .... stealthy acquisition of team flags and provide secure storage of said flags over the following days. Yeah, they stole the team flags :-)
And to cover tracks, they "stole" their own flag as well. Clever. Really it was just a harmless prank involving several of the girls. I thought it was hysterical. Especially hearing how one of the kids at camp had "developed a weird emotional attachment" (my daughter's words) to their team flag.
So I asked my son, "why did you guys take a crowbar with you?" He said "oh we didn't take one, bought one on the way." There is only one response to that. So I said "That makes sense. But next time you guys need one of those all-in-one tools with screwdrivers and a hammer as well. Some pliers may come in handy also."
I know that many of you would disagree with me and say that I am encouraging sinful behavior that could lead my kids to a life of sin and crime and they spend the rest of their lives in prison for stealing national treasures to sell on the Russian black market or end up as members of a terrorist organization. Yes, that is a ridiculous exaggeration. Life for teens does not have to be so serious, IMHO.
Life should be fun. My kids have had a lot of un-fun this year. This year, their mother walked out on us and now now we are divorced. Early on in the year, we didn't have much extra cash for doing fun things. They are going to start public school for the first time this fall. And in general, it has been a rough year. Yes I encouraged my kids to explore the rules and find how to poke holes in them a bit. Yes I encouraged my kids to have fun.
Yes there is satisfaction and fulfillment in being model citizens and model Christian children. But often, the standards set by many legalists offer no joy, no satisfaction, and no fun. They mostly offer only guilt. And they are typically unsupportable by scriptures and represent the mantra of the modern Pharisees.
Jesus laughed. Jesus smiled. And I believe that at times, Jesus had a bit of fun talking smack with the established religious leaders and the Pharisees. He is clever and witty. He is a model citizen of God's kingdom. He is merciful. He is not a legalist stick in the mud. Jesus is cool. So more than anything, I encourage my kids to be like Jesus.
When they came back on Saturday, I was eager to hear the stories they brought back with them. When I sent them on their way over a week ago, I gave them these three instructions:
- Do nothing to get thrown out from camp, I can't come to get you.
- Do nothing stupid to get yourself or anyone else hurt, I can't come to get you.
- Push the limits and have fun, I would like to be there too.
Well, I won't go into all the details here. I just want to leave a teaser. My daughter started a story with "we had to steal the crowbar from the boys' cabin". Well, that was quite an opener. Essentially they needed the crowbar to do a little .... stealthy acquisition of team flags and provide secure storage of said flags over the following days. Yeah, they stole the team flags :-)
And to cover tracks, they "stole" their own flag as well. Clever. Really it was just a harmless prank involving several of the girls. I thought it was hysterical. Especially hearing how one of the kids at camp had "developed a weird emotional attachment" (my daughter's words) to their team flag.
So I asked my son, "why did you guys take a crowbar with you?" He said "oh we didn't take one,
I know that many of you would disagree with me and say that I am encouraging sinful behavior that could lead my kids to a life of sin and crime and they spend the rest of their lives in prison for stealing national treasures to sell on the Russian black market or end up as members of a terrorist organization. Yes, that is a ridiculous exaggeration. Life for teens does not have to be so serious, IMHO.
Life should be fun. My kids have had a lot of un-fun this year. This year, their mother walked out on us and now now we are divorced. Early on in the year, we didn't have much extra cash for doing fun things. They are going to start public school for the first time this fall. And in general, it has been a rough year. Yes I encouraged my kids to explore the rules and find how to poke holes in them a bit. Yes I encouraged my kids to have fun.
Yes there is satisfaction and fulfillment in being model citizens and model Christian children. But often, the standards set by many legalists offer no joy, no satisfaction, and no fun. They mostly offer only guilt. And they are typically unsupportable by scriptures and represent the mantra of the modern Pharisees.
Jesus laughed. Jesus smiled. And I believe that at times, Jesus had a bit of fun talking smack with the established religious leaders and the Pharisees. He is clever and witty. He is a model citizen of God's kingdom. He is merciful. He is not a legalist stick in the mud. Jesus is cool. So more than anything, I encourage my kids to be like Jesus.
Sunday, July 17, 2005
I've Been Harry Potter'ed
The other night was the big event all the Harry Potter fans have been waiting for: the release of Half-Blood Prince. I was in a book store along with about 1200 other people counting down the hours until they started selling the books. I understood that there were about 600 people outside in line as well. I arrived around 8:30 and I was still well back in the queue. They assigned group letters and I was "G". I didn't get my books (yes plural, both kids both want to read it and this is far better than trying to work out sharing plans) until about 12:30.
They had a costume competition and a little Veela won. However, I was rooting for a very realistic Dobby complete with grubby pillow case, if you can imagine. And as we approached the last moments before midnight, there was an in-store unison countdown of the last 10 seconds with a quite loud roar of enthusiasm and applause at midnight. And then the lines started to move.
It was interesting, weird, at moments fun, but if nothing else, it was enlightening. I did a lot of people watching. Having two teens myself, I was especially curious to watch the teens moving around the stored. In general they were all just trying to have a bit of fun. And though many were dressed in wizarding robes, often with accessories (like wands), and sometimes other garments that I could only guess their meaning (some appeared to have the wrong book in mind), still these teens were trying to preserve their "cool". They were trying to balance between "look I am cool enough to act a bit silly and not worry about it" and the dreaded "look I am acting so silly I am no longer cool, but its fun."
Now I have to wait until at least one of my kids is done with their book so I can read it. Maybe if I cross a bit of Hogwarts with D&D, I could cast a hastening spell on them and get it quicker :-)
They had a costume competition and a little Veela won. However, I was rooting for a very realistic Dobby complete with grubby pillow case, if you can imagine. And as we approached the last moments before midnight, there was an in-store unison countdown of the last 10 seconds with a quite loud roar of enthusiasm and applause at midnight. And then the lines started to move.
It was interesting, weird, at moments fun, but if nothing else, it was enlightening. I did a lot of people watching. Having two teens myself, I was especially curious to watch the teens moving around the stored. In general they were all just trying to have a bit of fun. And though many were dressed in wizarding robes, often with accessories (like wands), and sometimes other garments that I could only guess their meaning (some appeared to have the wrong book in mind), still these teens were trying to preserve their "cool". They were trying to balance between "look I am cool enough to act a bit silly and not worry about it" and the dreaded "look I am acting so silly I am no longer cool, but its fun."
Now I have to wait until at least one of my kids is done with their book so I can read it. Maybe if I cross a bit of Hogwarts with D&D, I could cast a hastening spell on them and get it quicker :-)
Friday, July 15, 2005
Living My Life
Who lives your life for you? Do you live your life for yourself? Do you live vicariously through others? These are important questions. And as I have learned, can have significant consequences at times.
It is difficult to piece together your life again when it has been turned upside down. And the one place you turn to is your friends. But what happens when your friends believe they know what you're doing even when you don't? What about when your friends believe they know what you're doing when they really are quite wrong, but won't believe you? What about when your friends offer you advice that is really not conducive to your personal goals? And finally, what about when your friends simply do not like your way of living your life, and they abandon you?
Well, I can tell you, it really depends on your friends. A casual friend will mostly accept what you do and let it pass. A closer friend may counsel you and take a stronger interest in your thoughts and your actions. A really close friend may try to take the reigns and steer you down they path they think best. And there is every possible variation on those that you will see.
But it is that last category that causes the most pain. A really close friend may really have your best interest at heart. They may sacrifice time and energy trying to help you solve your problems. But they may also may take it personal when you don't see things their way. Let me illustrate by way of real life example.
Because I recently have found myself in a strange new world - the divorced adult single dating world - I can honestly say I really don't know what I am doing now. Yet at the same time, I do have a pretty good idea of the end goals that I want to see myself reach. So while I can't really say "hey, I know what I am doing", I can readily say "I know I don't want to do that."
Some of my casual friends have given me some reasonable advice - take it slow, keep the faith, look for character and integrity, and other really rational gems. But some of this advice has been.... well not what I want for me. For example, I was advised by one friend to "take at least a year after divorce before you even begin to start dating." Uh..... no. I do not want to do that. I do not want to be that lonely that long, unless it is God's will that I be that alone that long. And I would know if it was His will if that is what happened.
Another friend told me "date a lot, find out what all kinds of women are like until you find what you want." Well, I don't think that is what I really want to do either. I don't want to date for the sake of dating. And that could lead me to temptation (or bankruptcy).
And in those cases of the casual friend, they really didn't care if I took their advice or not. They just wanted to offer it. But they are not emotionally invested enough to really wait for the follow-through. That is OK. We should have different friends at different levels. It helps us to strike a balance.
Now some of my closer friends have offered similar rational advice but then watch the follow-through. They ask questions, they are sometimes concerned with my actions, but they are always supportive. Even when I make a mistake (which is inevitable), they are there to try to help me carry on.
But sadly, a very close friend has chosen a different tactic. From my perspective, this friend approves of nothing I do, if I do not do exactly as he would have me do it. I am not joking. Whether real or only perception, this is exactly how it seems. For example, my friend was there through my divorce and was tired of dealing with some of the issues - I do not blame him for this - and told me "I do not want to hear about your personal life anymore." Well, I felt abandoned, but I know I had been a burden to them. So I did as requested. Now comes the hard part.
I keep my private life, and specifically my dating life, to myself, sharing nothing of it with my friend. However, he continued to think on it, and had decided, quite on his own, that he "knew" what I was actually doing, even though I was saying nothing. Well, that is disheartening, but not enough to damage the friendship. But then, because he is so convinced he knows that I have embarked on some strange path and that I am being secretive about it, that he completely refuses to believe me when I refute his claims. He calls me a liar and abandons me again. That hurts.
I asked my friend "so you think I am hiding something and I am doing something secretive when you see me just doing my thing because I don't tell you about it, when you told me not to tell you?" I then asked "do you want to me to share my personal life with you or not? If you do I will, I have nothing to hide, but why do you condemn me as secretive because I do not do what you would do, but instead you see me doing what I want to do, and you told me not to tell you about it?" I don't know the answers to these questions because he gave none.
I would hope that time would heal these wounds. Those I have inflicted, and those he has inflicted. And I will still be his friend, but the dynamics are certainly different now. I know that he believes me to be a liar, so trust will be difficult to maintain in both directions.
So I have decided to live my life, make my mistakes, and take my consequences. This does not mean I am just going to live wild and free as if there is no tomorrow. On the contrary, it means that I will continue to seek wise counsel and live as a follower of Christ. I will at times take that counsel, and at times I will not take it based solely on my own personal goals, experiences, and beliefs compared to the advice giver. This does not mean that I do not respect them, it only means that I do not see things their particular way.
It is the only life I have. Betrayal and divorce have ruined it enough. I just want to live out what is left of it as I think best. I am not perfect, nor would I claim to be. I am stumbling through life as it is, carrying an enormous load. Please don't burden me with more of it by projecting yourself onto my life, it can't carry the weight of more than one at a time.
It is difficult to piece together your life again when it has been turned upside down. And the one place you turn to is your friends. But what happens when your friends believe they know what you're doing even when you don't? What about when your friends believe they know what you're doing when they really are quite wrong, but won't believe you? What about when your friends offer you advice that is really not conducive to your personal goals? And finally, what about when your friends simply do not like your way of living your life, and they abandon you?
Well, I can tell you, it really depends on your friends. A casual friend will mostly accept what you do and let it pass. A closer friend may counsel you and take a stronger interest in your thoughts and your actions. A really close friend may try to take the reigns and steer you down they path they think best. And there is every possible variation on those that you will see.
But it is that last category that causes the most pain. A really close friend may really have your best interest at heart. They may sacrifice time and energy trying to help you solve your problems. But they may also may take it personal when you don't see things their way. Let me illustrate by way of real life example.
Because I recently have found myself in a strange new world - the divorced adult single dating world - I can honestly say I really don't know what I am doing now. Yet at the same time, I do have a pretty good idea of the end goals that I want to see myself reach. So while I can't really say "hey, I know what I am doing", I can readily say "I know I don't want to do that."
Some of my casual friends have given me some reasonable advice - take it slow, keep the faith, look for character and integrity, and other really rational gems. But some of this advice has been.... well not what I want for me. For example, I was advised by one friend to "take at least a year after divorce before you even begin to start dating." Uh..... no. I do not want to do that. I do not want to be that lonely that long, unless it is God's will that I be that alone that long. And I would know if it was His will if that is what happened.
Another friend told me "date a lot, find out what all kinds of women are like until you find what you want." Well, I don't think that is what I really want to do either. I don't want to date for the sake of dating. And that could lead me to temptation (or bankruptcy).
And in those cases of the casual friend, they really didn't care if I took their advice or not. They just wanted to offer it. But they are not emotionally invested enough to really wait for the follow-through. That is OK. We should have different friends at different levels. It helps us to strike a balance.
Now some of my closer friends have offered similar rational advice but then watch the follow-through. They ask questions, they are sometimes concerned with my actions, but they are always supportive. Even when I make a mistake (which is inevitable), they are there to try to help me carry on.
But sadly, a very close friend has chosen a different tactic. From my perspective, this friend approves of nothing I do, if I do not do exactly as he would have me do it. I am not joking. Whether real or only perception, this is exactly how it seems. For example, my friend was there through my divorce and was tired of dealing with some of the issues - I do not blame him for this - and told me "I do not want to hear about your personal life anymore." Well, I felt abandoned, but I know I had been a burden to them. So I did as requested. Now comes the hard part.
I keep my private life, and specifically my dating life, to myself, sharing nothing of it with my friend. However, he continued to think on it, and had decided, quite on his own, that he "knew" what I was actually doing, even though I was saying nothing. Well, that is disheartening, but not enough to damage the friendship. But then, because he is so convinced he knows that I have embarked on some strange path and that I am being secretive about it, that he completely refuses to believe me when I refute his claims. He calls me a liar and abandons me again. That hurts.
I asked my friend "so you think I am hiding something and I am doing something secretive when you see me just doing my thing because I don't tell you about it, when you told me not to tell you?" I then asked "do you want to me to share my personal life with you or not? If you do I will, I have nothing to hide, but why do you condemn me as secretive because I do not do what you would do, but instead you see me doing what I want to do, and you told me not to tell you about it?" I don't know the answers to these questions because he gave none.
I would hope that time would heal these wounds. Those I have inflicted, and those he has inflicted. And I will still be his friend, but the dynamics are certainly different now. I know that he believes me to be a liar, so trust will be difficult to maintain in both directions.
So I have decided to live my life, make my mistakes, and take my consequences. This does not mean I am just going to live wild and free as if there is no tomorrow. On the contrary, it means that I will continue to seek wise counsel and live as a follower of Christ. I will at times take that counsel, and at times I will not take it based solely on my own personal goals, experiences, and beliefs compared to the advice giver. This does not mean that I do not respect them, it only means that I do not see things their particular way.
It is the only life I have. Betrayal and divorce have ruined it enough. I just want to live out what is left of it as I think best. I am not perfect, nor would I claim to be. I am stumbling through life as it is, carrying an enormous load. Please don't burden me with more of it by projecting yourself onto my life, it can't carry the weight of more than one at a time.
Wednesday, July 13, 2005
A Gasoline Shower
A more appropriate title for this post could be:
I stopped at a gas station yesterday on my way home from work. I was standing there between the pumps talking to a friend of mine who was also there. Then we heard a shower of gasoline spewing from the top of the gas pump all over the side of some lady's car and the ground. And listen, when a gas pump is fully running it cranks out some gas. There was a lot quickly.
The lady looked at me and said "what do I do?" I immediately responded "emergency cutoff switch!" And then I began to look for it. Guess what. They put that switch close to the building so the employees can get to it quickly. I didn't find it. So I did the next logical thing. I braved the shower of gasoline to grab the pump handle, removed it from the car and put it back on the pump. And yes that shut off the gas.
Now by this time both of my arms are fully soaked in gasoline. It was on my shoes, my pants, and my watch. I can still smell it as I write this.
Why did this happen?
You know that "break-away" feature of the gas pump handle and hose? That is the bit that breaks apart (and theoretically shuts off the flow of gas) in case you drive off with the pump handle still in your car. Well that is where the gas was spewing from.
According to the employee at the gas station (and I am sorry but he was such the stereotypical Indian convenience store clerk, it was too funny), that pump was already broken. They left the pump handle in its cradle even though the hose was disconnected. I presume this was so the other handles would work correctly. Now the lady did not see that the hose was laying on the ground and did not connect above her head. Hey, I run on autopilot so much, I could easily make that mistake. I guess being a bit ADD and OCD helps me to spot those kinds of things.
A little gasoline doesn't smell all that bad. Add a little more and it reeks. Take a shower in it and it REALLY stinks!
So take my advice, don't drink and drive, don't do drugs, tip your server, go to church, and always survey the gas station and its pumps before you crank it up.
This has been a public service announcement of the I Don't Want to Take Gasoline Showers Foundation and not the Will Rogers Institute. Had this been an actual emergency, you would have seen me speeding past you. Taxes and tags not included and your mileage may vary.
What To Do When A Gas Pump Spews Gasoline All Over The Place
I stopped at a gas station yesterday on my way home from work. I was standing there between the pumps talking to a friend of mine who was also there. Then we heard a shower of gasoline spewing from the top of the gas pump all over the side of some lady's car and the ground. And listen, when a gas pump is fully running it cranks out some gas. There was a lot quickly.
The lady looked at me and said "what do I do?" I immediately responded "emergency cutoff switch!" And then I began to look for it. Guess what. They put that switch close to the building so the employees can get to it quickly. I didn't find it. So I did the next logical thing. I braved the shower of gasoline to grab the pump handle, removed it from the car and put it back on the pump. And yes that shut off the gas.
Now by this time both of my arms are fully soaked in gasoline. It was on my shoes, my pants, and my watch. I can still smell it as I write this.
Why did this happen?
You know that "break-away" feature of the gas pump handle and hose? That is the bit that breaks apart (and theoretically shuts off the flow of gas) in case you drive off with the pump handle still in your car. Well that is where the gas was spewing from.
According to the employee at the gas station (and I am sorry but he was such the stereotypical Indian convenience store clerk, it was too funny), that pump was already broken. They left the pump handle in its cradle even though the hose was disconnected. I presume this was so the other handles would work correctly. Now the lady did not see that the hose was laying on the ground and did not connect above her head. Hey, I run on autopilot so much, I could easily make that mistake. I guess being a bit ADD and OCD helps me to spot those kinds of things.
A little gasoline doesn't smell all that bad. Add a little more and it reeks. Take a shower in it and it REALLY stinks!
So take my advice, don't drink and drive, don't do drugs, tip your server, go to church, and always survey the gas station and its pumps before you crank it up.
This has been a public service announcement of the I Don't Want to Take Gasoline Showers Foundation and not the Will Rogers Institute. Had this been an actual emergency, you would have seen me speeding past you. Taxes and tags not included and your mileage may vary.
Sunday, July 10, 2005
More Teenage Estrogen
Well I spent another day at the mall with my teenage daughter and her friends. The pack seems to be more tolerant of my presence now. I can study their flocking behavior without them reacting to my presence. On more than one occasion, I was in the immediate vicinity of them when they were seeking prey and going for the kill without them being spooked.
Teens in the wild are quite impressive in their stalking abiities. They can sneak up on shoes, skirts, shirts, candy, and the more unusual items in a mall with the ease of a lioness prowling the open grasslands. I have seen them dodge competing flocks, redirect their stalking to a new target, and in general, show their impressive abilities as modern hunters.
But the most important thing was I got to spend the day with my daughter. All kidding aside, I love my daughter and I am very happy to take her to the mall and spend time with her.
And in the teen language - peace out! The adult translation is "May God be with you".
Teens in the wild are quite impressive in their stalking abiities. They can sneak up on shoes, skirts, shirts, candy, and the more unusual items in a mall with the ease of a lioness prowling the open grasslands. I have seen them dodge competing flocks, redirect their stalking to a new target, and in general, show their impressive abilities as modern hunters.
But the most important thing was I got to spend the day with my daughter. All kidding aside, I love my daughter and I am very happy to take her to the mall and spend time with her.
And in the teen language - peace out! The adult translation is "May God be with you".
Friday, July 08, 2005
Now Is The Time
I read of the London bombings first on the Internet yesterday. I am not proud to say that the horrific nature of this crime against the people of Britain has not fully sunk in just yet. My world is too jaded for me to fully appreciate the severity and horror of that reality. There has been so much killing and destruction in the last few years that my brain is becoming numb to it. That is sad. This posting is my first attempt to do something about that.
So what will I do? Well, I will not give in to the terrorist's methods. They want to isolate the US. They do this by perpetrating acts of cowardice against innocent people. Now I just called the citizens of the UK and the US innocents. The terrorists would have you believe that the citizenry of a country is not innocent of their leader's actions. Well that is not quite true. That only applies to countries they do not like. Their countries however their citizens are innocent and the US and the UK have no right to be involved there.
So which is it? Are the non-military, non-government citizens of a country responsible for their leader's actions? Interesting question isn't it. You want to say "yes", but if you do, then you justify the terrorists. You want to say "no" but then you justify the US and UK governments. What a predicament.
I posit that the citizenry are mostly not responsible. How so? I am a citizen of the US. But I have no direct influence on individual military situations. As a citizen of a democracy, or at least a republic, your influence as a voting citizen does not extend to the day to day operations of the government or the military. Yet you are responsible for electing the leaders of that country. And as was the case in the late 1700's, those citizens have the responsibility to stand up to bad leadership. It happened again the mid 1800's when the citizens of the southern US thought the northern US states were doing a bad job. In both of those cases, there was armed conflict. In one, the uprising won, and the US exists. In the other, the uprising was defeated, and a whole US still exists. But I would argue that in both cases, the result has been that the US has improved in both circumstances.
Now this does not condone force to overthrow a government. It is an illustration of the fact that Americans believe that the citizens own their own country, and should take care of things themselves. And for a long time, the US held that isolationist attitude. And what happened? People in other countries berated the US and its citizenry for not being more involved in the world, to rid it of evil, and to make it a better place. After all, we had a lot of power, but we did little to improve the rest of the world for over 100 years.
This is how I feel. That other countries want our money. They want our help when they get into real trouble. But they don't want to help us. And they certainly don't want our interference. But in some countries, an elite minority retain such a choke hold on its populace that there is no one speaking for the ordinary citizens. In places like Iraq, they were tortured and killed for it. This is a fact. The government of Iraq used nerve gas against its own citizens. And then they moved against their neighbors.
Study history people. Germany after WWI was not a threat. Sure there was this one guy, kind of crazy, became their dictator, but he wasn't bothering us was he? Or was he? Once Hitler rose to power, he moved against his neighbors. And he tortured and killed his own citizens, the Jews and those that aided them. It wasn't until he invaded France that the UK and other countries realized that something needed to be done about it. However, their delay nearly lost them the war. The German war machine had grown very powerful without intervention from other countries.
And what were we doing in the US all that time? Waiting. And selling supplies to the UK and other Allies. Sure we took some hits in our shipping lanes. The Germans knew we could be a threat, even if all we did was to supply the Allies. So they sniped at our ships. But then, while we were all smug in our "hands off the world" approach to international relations, the Japanese launched a sneak attack against the US at Pearl Harbor. And thus the sleeping giant was awakened.
So now in this 21st century, we have different threats, but the same old evils, and the same old tired excuses for not being involved. The terrorists are no less lethal than the German U-Boats of WWII and they are no less threatening than the soldiers on the field. The difference is they fight in cowardice, attacking non-militants, men, women, and children alike. They do this because they fight from a position of weakness. It is accepted by all that in a conventional battle, few could stand against the combined might of the US and the UK. So they deal in terror. And people want to wait some more.
Now is the time. Now is the time to NOT yield to the cowards. Now is the time to unite against them. Their tactic is to isolate and destroy. Stand together and no nation on the earth can defeat the US with the UK and their allies. And those that would sit on the sidelines, entire countries in fear of a few terrorists, like France, to remember your past, and remember your pride. Do not let the terrorists win. Stand up. Now is the time.
So what will I do? Well, I will not give in to the terrorist's methods. They want to isolate the US. They do this by perpetrating acts of cowardice against innocent people. Now I just called the citizens of the UK and the US innocents. The terrorists would have you believe that the citizenry of a country is not innocent of their leader's actions. Well that is not quite true. That only applies to countries they do not like. Their countries however their citizens are innocent and the US and the UK have no right to be involved there.
So which is it? Are the non-military, non-government citizens of a country responsible for their leader's actions? Interesting question isn't it. You want to say "yes", but if you do, then you justify the terrorists. You want to say "no" but then you justify the US and UK governments. What a predicament.
I posit that the citizenry are mostly not responsible. How so? I am a citizen of the US. But I have no direct influence on individual military situations. As a citizen of a democracy, or at least a republic, your influence as a voting citizen does not extend to the day to day operations of the government or the military. Yet you are responsible for electing the leaders of that country. And as was the case in the late 1700's, those citizens have the responsibility to stand up to bad leadership. It happened again the mid 1800's when the citizens of the southern US thought the northern US states were doing a bad job. In both of those cases, there was armed conflict. In one, the uprising won, and the US exists. In the other, the uprising was defeated, and a whole US still exists. But I would argue that in both cases, the result has been that the US has improved in both circumstances.
Now this does not condone force to overthrow a government. It is an illustration of the fact that Americans believe that the citizens own their own country, and should take care of things themselves. And for a long time, the US held that isolationist attitude. And what happened? People in other countries berated the US and its citizenry for not being more involved in the world, to rid it of evil, and to make it a better place. After all, we had a lot of power, but we did little to improve the rest of the world for over 100 years.
This is how I feel. That other countries want our money. They want our help when they get into real trouble. But they don't want to help us. And they certainly don't want our interference. But in some countries, an elite minority retain such a choke hold on its populace that there is no one speaking for the ordinary citizens. In places like Iraq, they were tortured and killed for it. This is a fact. The government of Iraq used nerve gas against its own citizens. And then they moved against their neighbors.
Study history people. Germany after WWI was not a threat. Sure there was this one guy, kind of crazy, became their dictator, but he wasn't bothering us was he? Or was he? Once Hitler rose to power, he moved against his neighbors. And he tortured and killed his own citizens, the Jews and those that aided them. It wasn't until he invaded France that the UK and other countries realized that something needed to be done about it. However, their delay nearly lost them the war. The German war machine had grown very powerful without intervention from other countries.
And what were we doing in the US all that time? Waiting. And selling supplies to the UK and other Allies. Sure we took some hits in our shipping lanes. The Germans knew we could be a threat, even if all we did was to supply the Allies. So they sniped at our ships. But then, while we were all smug in our "hands off the world" approach to international relations, the Japanese launched a sneak attack against the US at Pearl Harbor. And thus the sleeping giant was awakened.
So now in this 21st century, we have different threats, but the same old evils, and the same old tired excuses for not being involved. The terrorists are no less lethal than the German U-Boats of WWII and they are no less threatening than the soldiers on the field. The difference is they fight in cowardice, attacking non-militants, men, women, and children alike. They do this because they fight from a position of weakness. It is accepted by all that in a conventional battle, few could stand against the combined might of the US and the UK. So they deal in terror. And people want to wait some more.
Now is the time. Now is the time to NOT yield to the cowards. Now is the time to unite against them. Their tactic is to isolate and destroy. Stand together and no nation on the earth can defeat the US with the UK and their allies. And those that would sit on the sidelines, entire countries in fear of a few terrorists, like France, to remember your past, and remember your pride. Do not let the terrorists win. Stand up. Now is the time.
Sunday, July 03, 2005
He lived long and he prospered.
Live long and prosper. You do not have to be a Vulcan to use that phrase nor do you have to be one to live it. It is a simple phrase that underlies a deeper, more complex desire for one's personal goals, or one's best wishes for another's well being. Live long and prosper. May it be so for me.
As I write this, my grandfather passed away less than an hour ago. I just got the call about 15 minutes ago. As soon as I got off the phone, that was the phrase I thought of. My grandfather did just that. He lived long and he prospered. And though I am not fully equipped at the moment to write him a proper tribute or epitaph, I feel the need to write something. So here is a small tribute to one of the greatest men of the last century and who lived into this century, William Rumalo Brackenridge - or as I grew up calling him, Bill.
Bill was born 88 years ago on March 14, 1917. His grew up in Keiffer, West Virginia, a small town nestled in the rolling hills of Greenbriar County. Bill went to school in Rupert but according to the family he never went past the eighth grade. He chose to leave school and work. Bill has told me stories of only having a few biscuits to take to school for his lunch as a boy. He grew up in a very rural and very poor region during some of the hardest times of our country's history. But Bill did more than just survive, he thrived.
Perhaps it was that experience of such a hard childhood that enabled Bill to rise above the circumstances. Perhaps it was just hillbilly stubbornness. Or perhaps it was something more, something that comes from having your life steeped in the misty hills of West Virginia. I don't know. I prefer to believe that it was a matter of choice, determination, hard work and the providence of God, not merely birthright, genetics, or luck. Whatever it was, Bill was not content to merely survive for the rest of his life. He chose to do more than that.
Bill worked hard and was noticed at Carbon Fuel Company. He started in the warehouse and worked his way up. Way up. He retired from Carbon Fuel after becoming Superintendent of all surface mining operations across two states and superintendent of the company-owned railroad, the Winifrede Rail Road (WRR).
Bill may have never known how much I had always looked up to him, but I did. Bill was a hard man too. People who knew him knew this. But those who really knew him also knew he was a fair man. And if he is guilty of anything, it is he expected others to work as hard as he did, to respect others, and to take responsibility for your own actions. That was Bill. He represented a different age of America. He represented something that people now find offensive perhaps. He held you accountable for your actions. He called a spade a spade when that was the way it was. He held an American ideal that is fading, or already faded from our land.
But it has not faded with me. Bill is permanently ingrained into my head and my heart. He will forever be a part of who I am. And because of that, he also is a part of who my kids are. They knew Bill and I believe that I passed on my respect and love for him to them.
Bill had married my dad's mother on December 20, 1941. Yes, Bill is my dad's stepfather, not his biological father. And I know that those first years were hard, and there is no doubt that they surely clashed at times. But I know that Bill has always been there for my dad and likewise my dad has always been there for Bill. These two stubborn men have been united by that marriage and, as my father matured, they were united by much more than just that.
When my grandmother Clara died in September of 1994, I saw Bill's resolute determination continue. He was older, sadder, but he was still Bill. He was determined to continue on, and he even dared to thrive. I know that Bill loved Clara, of that there is no doubt. But Bill was not ready to spend the rest of his life alone. Bill married Brenda on November 18, 1998. He has spent his remaining years just being Bill.
So you may have never heard of Bill, or even William Rumalo Brackenridge, but I will always believe and assert that next to my father, Bill Brackenridge was one of the greatest men I have ever known. And though I doubt Bill ever even watched an episode of Star Trek or knew of the phrase, he embodied that well known utterance of Mr. Spock. He lived long and he prospered. May it be so with me.
As I write this, my grandfather passed away less than an hour ago. I just got the call about 15 minutes ago. As soon as I got off the phone, that was the phrase I thought of. My grandfather did just that. He lived long and he prospered. And though I am not fully equipped at the moment to write him a proper tribute or epitaph, I feel the need to write something. So here is a small tribute to one of the greatest men of the last century and who lived into this century, William Rumalo Brackenridge - or as I grew up calling him, Bill.
Bill was born 88 years ago on March 14, 1917. His grew up in Keiffer, West Virginia, a small town nestled in the rolling hills of Greenbriar County. Bill went to school in Rupert but according to the family he never went past the eighth grade. He chose to leave school and work. Bill has told me stories of only having a few biscuits to take to school for his lunch as a boy. He grew up in a very rural and very poor region during some of the hardest times of our country's history. But Bill did more than just survive, he thrived.
Perhaps it was that experience of such a hard childhood that enabled Bill to rise above the circumstances. Perhaps it was just hillbilly stubbornness. Or perhaps it was something more, something that comes from having your life steeped in the misty hills of West Virginia. I don't know. I prefer to believe that it was a matter of choice, determination, hard work and the providence of God, not merely birthright, genetics, or luck. Whatever it was, Bill was not content to merely survive for the rest of his life. He chose to do more than that.
Bill worked hard and was noticed at Carbon Fuel Company. He started in the warehouse and worked his way up. Way up. He retired from Carbon Fuel after becoming Superintendent of all surface mining operations across two states and superintendent of the company-owned railroad, the Winifrede Rail Road (WRR).
Bill may have never known how much I had always looked up to him, but I did. Bill was a hard man too. People who knew him knew this. But those who really knew him also knew he was a fair man. And if he is guilty of anything, it is he expected others to work as hard as he did, to respect others, and to take responsibility for your own actions. That was Bill. He represented a different age of America. He represented something that people now find offensive perhaps. He held you accountable for your actions. He called a spade a spade when that was the way it was. He held an American ideal that is fading, or already faded from our land.
But it has not faded with me. Bill is permanently ingrained into my head and my heart. He will forever be a part of who I am. And because of that, he also is a part of who my kids are. They knew Bill and I believe that I passed on my respect and love for him to them.
Bill had married my dad's mother on December 20, 1941. Yes, Bill is my dad's stepfather, not his biological father. And I know that those first years were hard, and there is no doubt that they surely clashed at times. But I know that Bill has always been there for my dad and likewise my dad has always been there for Bill. These two stubborn men have been united by that marriage and, as my father matured, they were united by much more than just that.
When my grandmother Clara died in September of 1994, I saw Bill's resolute determination continue. He was older, sadder, but he was still Bill. He was determined to continue on, and he even dared to thrive. I know that Bill loved Clara, of that there is no doubt. But Bill was not ready to spend the rest of his life alone. Bill married Brenda on November 18, 1998. He has spent his remaining years just being Bill.
So you may have never heard of Bill, or even William Rumalo Brackenridge, but I will always believe and assert that next to my father, Bill Brackenridge was one of the greatest men I have ever known. And though I doubt Bill ever even watched an episode of Star Trek or knew of the phrase, he embodied that well known utterance of Mr. Spock. He lived long and he prospered. May it be so with me.
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