Freaks, Geeks, Cleavage and More

I went to a Renaissance Festival. It was the first one I had ever been to in my life. I have heard a lot of stories over the years, but nothing compares to the true weirdness of actually being there. Now don't get me wrong. I thoroughly enjoyed the day. We all had a great time walking around, talking with people in our really poor attempts at British/Irish/Scottish accents, watching the performers, eating the food, and in general people watching.

Honestly, I could not tell who was paying visitor from who was "working" the festival. In fact there were so many people who were dressesd in costume, you started feeling like an oddball in your jeans, tee shirt, and tennis shoes. While some of the costumes were very well done, most were mediocre attempts at getting into the spirit of the time period. And many were just downright dagnasty ridiculous. But I applaud those that got into costume and tried. I did not. For shame squire! Why dost thou wearest such foul clothing? Do thyself good and wear proper garments!

And what's more, just because you have boobs, doesn't mean you should smush 'em up as high as you can, barely cover them, and project them out there for the world to see. In fact, most of the cleavage I saw was more like watching women carry jello molds around in chest mounted trays. There was more wiggling and jiggling going on than you should ever see. I think I may have been blinded a couple of times today. If not from the sight, then from the poke in the eye as a boob poked me in the eye a full 30 seconds before the woman actually caught up with it. After a while, you began to think that those things were actually out to get you. And more than a few you would wish actually catch you ;-)

So there was cleavage on display from the nearly non-existent to the "Good Lord! Put those pigs back in the pen!" This begs the question, why? Why did so many women wear something that looked uncomfortable, was not attractive, and was so revealing? Why didn't some of the hotties I saw do it? Perhaps these questions are not for men to ever understand.

Then there were the geeks who brandished armor and weapons, wore period clothing, could speak endlessly without falling out of character, and in general were just trying to have a good time. Being a geek of the computer world myself, I saw no problems with this lot. In fact, I wished I could have joined them on more than one occasion.

And there were a good number of freaks. You can interpret freak as positive or negative. It just depends on your attitude. I leave it as neutral. But there were a fair number of freaks who went beyond the period attire and invented styles that could best be described as a goth beginning and a Wal Mart ending. Some were adorned with wings, some wore horns, some wore hooves - yes hooves, and still others wore things I would rather forget. You know who you are! No one really needs to wear leopard skin pants, especially a guy (extreme shudder).

Ah, but then there were the dancing girls. Now I have no complaints about most of them. Some should know better than to wear such revealing clothing, there were... well let's just say there were some that are not very attractive revealing so much skin (shudder). To the others, I thank you for a good day. There was one particularly cute girl in a dancing girl outfit I kept seeing throughout the day (sigh). Why aren't there more of her?

So now I am already thinking about what I will wear next year. Will I buy a sword or just carry my cell phone? Will I go as a common villager, a knabob, royalty, a squire, a knight, a corsair/pirate, a monk, or just wear jeans again? I think I should go dressed as some kind of soldier with a sword. That way I could talk to all those cute dancing girls in character. So instead of just talking to them wearing jeans and have them think I am an idiot, I could talk to them in full attire and remove all doubt of it.

[Note: This post is intended for nothing but fun. I thoroughly enjoyed my time at the festival and I thoroughly enjoyed the enthusiasm everyone had for it. I will be going to more of them in the future.]