If you like your Windows XP, you can keep your Windows XP, but you shouldn't.

Unlike some other promises lately, you really can keep your Windows XP. The fact that Microsoft will no long be supplying bug fixes and patching security holes does not mean you cannot continue running Windows XP. The fact that Windows XP was always a huge security hole and technically is a crappy operating system is reason enough to abandon it.

There is no mandate to change, but you really ought to make a change. I will explain why.

I need to start with a short history minute. Bear with me. It really does make a difference.

Windows XP started life in the late 1990's and was built around the Windows NT kernel, which was what replaced the old Windows 9x operating systems. While XP was released in 2001, it's guts started in the late 1990's. That alone should give techies pause for concern.

So the operating system is now going on 13 years old from release, but the technology underneath is going on 17 years old.

What does that mean to you?

It means that 17 years of technical advancement in operating systems are missing from XP. It means that manufacturers don't even consider XP compatibility something they need. It means that finding drivers for new hardware will go from being difficult to impossible. It means being isolated technically on that operating system.

You can continue to use Windows XP, if you don't mind being stuck in the past. I know there are some die-hards out there that think XP was the best thing since sliced bread and refuse to give it up. But they are the exceptions. Let's call them exceptional people. Think of them as the people who refuse to fly in them thar new fangled flyin' machines.

And now you decide that since you are not a historian and you are not wanting to leave yourself open to hackers turning every XP installation on the planet into a great big spam bot, what should you do about it?

Most people won't really think the choices through. Most people will just go buy another computer with whatever Windows operating system is on it. Most likely that will be Windows 8 or 8.1 now. Then they will complain and whine and end up pining for the old days because they come to the realization that Windows 8 and 8,1 both suck.

So other people will try to hunt down someone still selling computers with Windows 7 or look for copies of Windows 7 to buy. That option is drying up as Microsoft is desperate to sell copies of Windows 8.x regardless of what users actually want.

What should you do?

Here are your options: 1) stick with XP anyway, 2) find Windows 7 PC or OS, 3) take the plunge to Windows 8.1, and 4) abandon Microsoft Windows and all its spyware, bloatware, NSA backdoors, random lockups, and ugly interface.

There is a number 5, the "other" option. More on that toward the end of this.

While option 1 may work for the next few months, it will soon start to give you definite reasons to abandon it. Once the hackers no longer have Microsoft plugging holes, the own the OS. So with Windows XP ending life, you should definitely be dumping Windows XP. Therefore 1 is not really an option.

A lot of people I talk to have already gone option 2 and still more are trying to locate Windows 7 machines and OS to buy. If I had to live in the Windows world, I would personally go this route. My company is sticking with Windows 7 for the foreseeable future because so much software they rely on breaks with Windows 8. 

Windows 7 has the best backwards compatibility with Windows XP and probably the most solid OS Microsoft has ever produced. That means it fails less than XP, but that does not mean it does not fail. My Win7 work machine has crashed numerous times and with all the anti-virus, anti-malware, and security software my company installed, my PC spends about a quarter of its time just checking things.

The bottom line is this: if you don't have a reason to stick with Microsoft Windows - like some critical piece of software that will only ever run on Windows OS natively - don't take option 2 or 3.

Quite a few people have decided to go for option 3 either because they couldn't find a viable option 2 or because they just gave up on trying. Some people, and heavens it really is a small minority of people, actually like Windows 8.1 and they choose option 3 or have already chosen it.

The problem with option 3 is that even Microsoft sees the failure of users to switch to 8.1 and that causes them heartburn. So much so they are already forming its replacement. Will the tiled interface disappear? Who knows. But think of 8.1 like you do Vista and you get the idea. Just don't.

Now, if you are those types that really don't need to live in a Microsoft world - meaning almost all home users - you can ditch Microsoft Windows entirely. 

There really are other operating systems despite what Microsoft and your MS fan-boys tell you. 

So if you think you might be interested in option 4, there are more options than just Apple Mac. What are they you ask? I shall tell you.

The most common choice seems to be Apple Macintosh and for good reasons. They build really, really, good hardware and their operating system is rock solid. If you open up a typical mid-range laptop running some kind of Windows, it's a nightmare of wires run this way and that and things seem fragile. Open up a Mac laptop and it looks like real engineering went into it. 

The modern Mac operating system is built on a version of Unix, the venerable operating system that has been around since 1969. Does that mean its a relic? An antique? A dinosaur? Heck no! It means it has about 45 years of maturity into it.

Unix has adopted new technology into the kernel and operating system ever since its inception. It was designed from the ground up to evolve. Because of that, it is very stable and very solid. That is why for decades the majority of corporate and then Internet servers ran Unix. It has only been supplanted recently by installations of Linux which are based on the design of Unix. Linux and Unix even share a lot of code.

The Mac user interface is also highly touted - I personally detest the "one menubar to rule them all" paradigm of MacOS but that's just me - and for good reason. It doesn't randomly lockup like Windows does. Oh it can and will from time to time, but its so infrequent there are not Internet memes built around it (think "blue screen of death").

Also, if you want to do multimedia, a Mac is the way to go as the application software for multimedia processing is abundant and world class on the Mac.

And there's ever other kind of application you would ever want to run, except maybe those made for PC games. Let us not forget to mention that the number of security risks on a Mac is a tiny fraction of those on any Windows operating system.

But Mac is not the only choice. There are two other highly credible options: Chromebook and Linux.

Recently the sales figures for Chromebooks indicated they were outselling Windows 8.1 and for good reason. They boot in 7 seconds. Yes, 7 seconds. They are extremely stable, impervious to viruses - they can be affected by web sites that target the Chrome browser, but even that risk is tiny compared to Windows. They are self updating, they don't have bloat, and they are simple to use.

What's the downfall of Chromebooks? They don't work like typical desktops. If you are used to installing apps from all over the place - and getting viruses with them - it will seem quite strange. You install Chrome apps only and typically everything you do is in the cloud.

This does not mean you have to stay online the whole time. They work offline as well though some apps you may install only work with a connection.

I have a Chromebook and my middle school age daughter does as well. We browse the web, write documents, create presentations, create spreadsheets, make drawings, edit photos, play music, play videos... everything you would want to do. We love our Chromebooks.

The final option is actually my personal choice: Linux. I am writing this note on Linux Mint as we speak. Linux has the same benefits of the Mac OS, but not the hardware. It has many of the same benefits of the Chromebook, but takes 15-30 seconds to boot. And it has a rich set of applications, most of which are entirely free. That's right, free. It's the cheapskate's great thrill.

Linux laptops kind of look and feel like Windows 7 laptops, but the user interfaces in Linux are cleaner, better featured, more stable, and did you notice I said "interfaces" and not just "interface". That's right, you can have a number of different user interfaces. You can even have most of them installed at the same time and switch which one you want to use when you login.

Like the Chromebooks, you can do nearly everything you would ever want to do in software. They are still lacking the top-end games but that will change as well now that Valve (makers of Steam game delivery platform software) have announced they are putting their full force behind SteamOS which is based on Linux.

Linux is THE choice for powering supercomputers, the lion's share of Internet servers, innumerable scientific installations and research labs, and exists as the primary or secondary operating system on a growing, but still small, fraction of the world's desktop and laptop computers.

The major downfall of Linux is that there are few vendors that sell Linux preinstalled on systems. So you have to have a machine or buy a machine and install it yourself in most cases. And that can be simple and done in under 30 minutes, or you could be in that 10 percent where the hardware isn't exactly supported out of the box and it is frustrating and takes hours or days. Most of the time it's a piece of cake. Other times it's sauerkraut.

So what does all this mean now that you had the stamina to read all this? Allow me to share some suggestions with you so you can determine for yourself what you want to do.

Ask this question of yourself: is there some piece of Windows software i can't get along without and there are no alternatives on other operating systems?

If the answer is yes, consider going the Windows 7 or 8.1 option. But if the answer is no, use this as the opportunity to learn something new, get something better, and have fewer frustrations.

Ask this question of yourself: do I do much more than browse the web, send/receive emails, write documents, view and edit photos, social networking?

If the answer is no and that is about all you do, you are a great candidate for a Chromebook or Linux, depending on how you want to go about it. Chromebooks setup themselves and are really, really easy to use and maintain. Linux can be a little harder but gives you way more OS power than you probably need... until you need it.

Another question to ask yourself: do I do a lot of multimedia or do I want to?

If the answer is yes, get a Mac. Just go get a Mac.

How about this: I just want it to work, but I want full power.

If the answer is yes, get a Mac. Again, just go get a Mac.

And finally: do I want to expand myself and learn how things work and do I want to be able to customize my operating system 3.5 million ways?

If the answer is yes, download a Linux distro and start the ball rolling. You can even install it alongside XP or any other operating system. if you don't know which distro to get, stick with either Ubuntu or Linux Mint until you do know.

At this point the question of "compatibility" comes up. People often ask "Is Mac/ChromeOS/Linux compatible with Windows?"

The answer is no and yes for each of the alternatives.

In basic terms, nothing is compatible with Windows. But because of the extensive technological support of the alternatives, they don't have to be compatible with Windows.

But regarding application compatibility, the answer is often yes. When it comes to applications there are two ways you can make or break compatibility. First, if the same application runs across multiple operating systems, like Firefox, Chrome, Skype, and a lot of others. These applications are definitely compatible.

There are some applications you will not find on other operating systems. For example, you will only have the option of Google's Chrome browser on a Chromebook. That's just how it is. You will not get much Microsoft software running on anything besides some apps that were ported to a Mac.

There are a number of specific applications where the software writers were simply not capable of creating their software to be what's called "cross-platform" - able to run on multiple operating systems - or they may not have had the business case to justify any perceived increase in costs to do so.

However the real test of compatibility is in the file formats. What do I mean? Every application you use that reads, creates, or otherwise uses files has to be programmed to understand the file format, or how the file is constructed and which bytes go where. File formats are the real test of compatibility.

With Microsoft Office, the company went out of their way to keep their file formats as incompatible as possible. That is not an overstatement. They really did. And just when other companies were getting the .doc and .xls file formats figured out, Microsoft changed them again with .docx and .xlsx and although these file formats are published as a standard, that is in name only. They buried proprietary format specifications in their standard to prevent other companies from being able to freely use them.

Again, that is not an overstatement. That is why if you live in a Microsoft world, use Microsoft Office, and think the only document format ends in "x", like .docx and .xlsx, then you are effectively trapped in that Windows world. Go back and look at options 2 and 3.

Yet even those formats are being picked apart. Applications such as LibreOffice have made huge advances in being able to read and write those proprietary Microsoft file formats. Many other applications have as well.

Most users don't have huge libraries of proprietary document files. They have some. And most of the time most users are more concerned with their other file formats, such as the file formats used for video, music, and photos. And when it comes to that, no worries. Nearly every music, image, and photo format used on Windows is already being used on the other operating systems.

Being a Linux user, I have yet to find any non-encrypted file format I could not use or convert on a Linux system. And since Macs share a lot in common with Linux, the same can be said for that platform.

So rest assured, for most of you, all your files will be accessible and usable on Mac, Chromebook, and Linux. Not all, but most.

Remember I mentioned that option 5? One thing that occurs to me is with the onslaught of mobile devices, do you really need a traditional desktop or laptop at all? Can you do all you need to do with a mobile tablet? For a lot of people, that is truly a workable and arguably better option.

Whether its an Apple iPad model, a Kindle HD model, or some other tablet, today's top tablets are certainly not your traditional PC but they can do most of the same things, and in some cases, more.

So if a tablet seems something you may be interested in, if you intend it as a replacement, do not go low end on tablets. Because it is such a lucrative market right now, a lot of low-end - meaning cheap - tablets are being produced. Just stay away from them, they aren't worth the hassle. Shop around and get a good deal.

The Apple tablets will typically be the most expensive, but they are very nice. Android tablets, which are the world's majority of tablets today, come in a wide range of prices and performance. Shop them to find a good mid-range or higher-range model. There are some Linux tablets to be found and they are an alternative for those who like to break away from the pack.

That's it. It's a lot of words, but I think they are useful words. 

If anyone has any specific questions, contact me. I would be glad to offer my assistance in helping you determine your personal computing needs so you can decide what you want to do.

Copyright 2014, Kevin Farley (a.k.a. sixdrift, a.k.a. neuronstatic)

Should You Buy A Chromebook?

Every time a person comes to the point they consider buying a new laptop, there are a number of things they should consider. Sadly, most people don't put as much thought into their purchase as they think they do. Oh, they read some reviews, they bargain hunt, and they talk to their friends, but in the end, most people buy a new laptop based on cost and performance.

Of course Mac users are a bit different. They don't consider anything but a Mac so they actually have far less to take into account.

So why do I say people don't put as much thought into buying a new laptop as they think they do? Because most people don't think that much about the requirements they have for a new laptop vs the choices available.

Arguably they don't have to think too hard about it. No manufacturer is going to sell a laptop these days without the basics of built-in WiFi, webcam, and a web browser to get on the web. Those basics can be assumed to exist in all but the most esoteric alternatives.

So what are the hot buttons for most people? Screen clarity/visibility, battery life, performance, feel of the keyboard, and brand loyalty - many people will buy Mac/Dell/HP/Asus/Acer simply because they bought them before - seem to be some of the most common attributes people consider. And all these are really good ones and typically are hardware and brand related.

So how many people think about their software requirements? Probably quite a few, but how they think of them may be a bit lazy and not really defining the need. For example, people tend to think "I need Microsoft Word/PowerPoint/Office" when what they really mean is "I need word processing/presentation/office suite application(s)". That really is far different than needing a specific product. It is a mindset that causes people to miss out on really good options.

Consider two laptops that are fairly equivalent with Brand A costing $300 and Brand B costing $350 but comes with basic Microsoft Office. Some would consider the $50 for the software to be worth it. I do not consider it worth it when there are less costly (i.e. free) alternatives that are as good or better and save me money (go check out LibreOffice or Google Docs before thinking you have to have MS Office).

Also, unless you're buying a Mac, people automatically assume they must buy a laptop running Windows, and that leads to a decision between Windows 7 (if you can get it) or Windows 8.

You know what they say about when you assume.

There are two other options besides Windows and MacOS that most people don't even consider: Chromebook and Linux. 

There are a number of companies that sell Linux laptops, including brand names like Dell. A Linux laptop is typically a little less costly as equivalent hardware running Windows, but not much. They also are a lot less costly than equivalent performance hardware from Apple.

But for most people a Linux laptop is just as much overkill as the Windows laptop is for their computing requirements. Linux laptops are performance heavyweights usually and you don't find all that many low-end laptops configured running Linux for sale.

So what do normal people really do with their laptops?

Statistics collected from various online and research organizations show that average people spend most of the personal computing time doing just a few things: social networking (Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, etc.), web browsing (a lot of that is men viewing port sadly enough), email, online shopping, watching cats/goats/babies in videos, and occasionally writing a document.

So for these people, any and all Windows, Linux, and Mac laptops are overkill. They simply don't need all the features (also called bloat) that come with Windows laptops and the huge wads of crappy "free" software manufacturers install on them, or the Macs with all the fancy multimedia creation/edit/whatever capabilities. And for most people, even Linux could be overkill, though with its ability to be customized up and down, left and right, inside and out, it doesn't have to be.

And that brings us to the subject of this (unfortunately) long post: the Chromebook option.

But should you buy a Chromebook? That all depends on what you intend to do with it. A Chromebook is not a laptop replacement for some people, but can be for a lot of people. If you are of the normal kind of folk and you are only looking for web browsing, email, online videos, social networks, etc., then a Chromebook may definitely be for you,

Allow me to introduce you to some of the premium advantages of a Chromebook over anything else (except maybe the Linux laptops).

Number 1, at least for me, is a 7-second boot time. That's right. From complete power off, battery out, cold as the grave, not-on state, to login prompt is 7 seconds. Every time. And it doesn't get slower with age.

Number 2, security. Seriously, people need to think about security. Do you really want the government running spyware in your operating system? I'm talking to you Microsoft and your Windows OS fully loaded with their secret agents. And do you really want to slow down your machine by loading additional bloat in the form of anti-virus/anti-spyware/anti-malware software that is REQUIRED on Microsoft Windows computers just to keep them from being commandeered by the bad guys?

Number 3, ease of use. Really, if you know how to open your laptop, type in your password, and use a web browser, you are 90% there. You don't really have to do anything else to it. It's just there, working and running from the moment you turn it on.

Number 4, low cost. Did you know that Microsoft Windows requires a minimum of 16 GB of disk storage just for the operating system? Did you know that most Windows laptops have about 20 GB of the hard disk full once you have everything loaded and up and running? This means you need bigger hard drives, more power, and faster CPU to handle the additional loading. Chromebooks get by with less hardware and that means less cost.

Number 4, solid state baby. When you look at a Chromebook and it says it has a 16 GB disk, your first reaction might be "that's tiny". By Windows laptop standards it is. You couldn't even use the machine for anything other than booting it up and looking at it if it were running Windows. But that 16 GB is 16 GB of solid state disk that is completely bare-butt empty until you put something on it. And with the Chromebook tied to the cloud as it is, most of your files and data are not stored locally anyway, they are on the net and the device keeps some of it synced for offline access - and you can control that.

Number 5, portability. Faster, prettier, and way more useful than a netbook of comparable size, Chromebooks are lightweight alternatives that do more, do it faster, and do it with less frustration and headache than Windows netbooks and small laptops.

Number 6, applications. I bet you didn't expect this one as a Chromebook advantage did you? It actually is. Think about it. Everyone who has a mobile phone (Android or iPhone) is used to finding and downloading apps from an app store. If there's something you need, you go to the app store, search for it, find alternatives, and then click to install. Bam! Done. In similar fashion, that's how a Chromebook is. Chrome has apps and extensions and all of these are in the Chrome store, just a few clicks away from being yours. So instead of googling for some obscure application names, clicking through half a dozen download selection screens, and then installing - all the while hoping it doesn't break something already installed on your machine - it's simple and easy and safe.

So there you have it. Should you buy a Chromebook? That all depends on you. I like mine. I wrote this post on my Acer Chromebook while sitting at Chick-fil-A. I have an older HP workhorse laptop running Linux Mint that is my heavyweight. But the thought of carrying that 8 pound beast everywhere is not on my to-do list.

Personally, I find that I do everything on my Chromebook now. That includes writing my novel - yes, I am still writing on it after 3 years, but it's near finished now. The only thing I do on my big laptop now is programming, video editing, and gaming. For everything else, there's Chromebook.

Should you buy a Chromebook or should you spend 3 times the money on a bloated old Windows goat? Your choice.


Copyright 2013, Kevin Farley (a.k.a. sixdrift, a.k.a. neuronstatic)

Back On Windows, And I Still Find It Lacking

Yesterday was my first day back on a Windows laptop full time at work. I have not used Windows as my primary OS for work since sometime back in 2007 when I had the opportunity to dual-boot my corporate laptop to run Ubuntu. Ever since that day, Windows was always the afterthought, not the prime OS on my machines.

But I started a new job yesterday that requires Windows. Not only does it require Windows, but the target hardware is running embedded Windows. And I have set aside C programming for the time being and taken up the C# programming language for my new job. 

Yes, my programming world has changed.

Do I mind? Not really. I still know that Linux rules the embedded space, and the server space, and completely owns the super-computer space. And I will still use Linux at home. I know that I will still be writing C code on my personal projects and C# is an excellent language. That is sufficient.

No, I don't mind. This new job gives me the opportunity to advance my skill set and do something different for a change. A welcome change actually. I needed to be challenged with something new again. And getting used to the constraints of Windows again will definitely be a challenge.

But I have been using Windows 7 and XP off and on when necessary since I made the conversion to full-time Linux. But I didn't have to rely on it. Mostly I booted into Windows at home just to play World of Warcraft and at booted to Windows at work just to access some Word document that used some obscure feature of Word that Microsoft decided to not document in their "standard".

Yet I still found it a bit shocking how much I have to wait on my computer. This Dell laptop has a Core i7 CPU at 2.7 GHz and 8 GB RAM and is running Windows 7. It is slower than my previous work computer with a Core i5 at the same clock rate and RAM when running Linux Mint and the Cinnamon UI.

And no, there's nothing wrong with the laptop. A Windows user would probably agree that it is quite zippy. But the Linux user would complain of delays.

Seriously. It seems like there is delay in every mouse click and every access to a flash drive.

The other thing that is a bit numbing was realizing I could no longer simply "sudo apt-get install" anything I needed. If you need to do something, you have to find the app for that. I did remember "portable apps" and I downloaded and installed that. That is a big improvement but I still lack the control of the environment that I had in Linux.

So here I am on day 2 of my return to the Windows world. I have determined to satisfy my Linux cravings by keeping my personal machines and personal devices on Linux and I accept that the company I am working for now deems the use of Windows on the desktop and Windows in the devices to be a good thing. For them, it works and I have no complaints.

I will probably write some more over time as I try to adjust my software development paradigm to the Windows way. It requires me to change because developing embedded C code on Linux and developing embedded C# code on Windows are two different paradigms.

Imagine growing up and learning to drive here in America. Driver sits on the left, cars pass on the right. Imagine you've been doing that for years. Now you move to England. Driver sits on the right, cars pass on the left.

It's that different.

I know there are some out there would say "oh you just need to try Windows 8 and you'll change your mind".

No. No I won't. I've tried Windows 8 and I completely dislike Windows 8. It is a disaster and Microsoft knows it. As far as Windows goes, Windows 7, in its latest patches, is probably the pinnacle of the Windows family of operating systems. The last one to have such solid working was probably Windows 98, second edition. That is not a joke.

It's not about hating on Microsoft. It's not about loving on Linux. It's not about fan boys or fan girls. And it's not about technical purity. It's about the OS experience.

I have tried Windows many times. I have used it as a user, a tester, and a developer. And I have this to say to Windows:

"You have been weighed. You have been measured. And you absolutely have been found wanting."

Copyright 2013, Kevin Farley (a.k.a. sixdrift, a.k.a. neuronstatic)

Betty Farley’s Fried Apple Pies

Betty Farley’s Fried Apple Pies

This is the recipe for Betty Farley’s fried apple pies. The crust recipe is Jackie Pauley’s “fruit pie crust”. We have known it always as “fried apple pie crust” in the Farley household because that’s about the only fried pies mom made.

This recipe makes about 10 small fried apple pies (about the size of a half-sandwich).

Ingredients Needed

Filling

About 2 pounds of apples, or 6 large apples.

½ cup sugar

½ tsp cinnamon

Pie Crust

2 cups flour

2 tsp baking soda (see note)

1 tsp salt (see note)

2 eggs

2 tbsp shortening (Wesson vegetable oil)

½ cup canned milk (Carnation canned milk)

Flour Note: If you are using self-rising flour you do not need to add the baking soda and salt. It is already added to the self-rising flour.

Things Needed

A pot big enough to cook your apples. A 4 quart pot should be plenty.

Rolling pin and surface to roll on (I use wax paper typically).

Extra flour to put on rolling surface and your hands.

Skillet and cooking oil to fry the pies in.

Plate and paper towels to put hot pies on.

Preparation

Cooking the Apples:

Peel and cut apples into ½ chunks. If you want more of an apple sauce filling, cut them smaller. Put apple chunks into a pot on medium heat with about ½ cup of water in the bottom of the pot. Don’t add too much water as a lot of liquid will come out of the apples themselves.

Add the sugar and cinnamon. The amounts given are only starting suggestions, you should figure out your own tastes and add or reduce accordingly.

Cook on medium heat about 20 minutes, giving a couple stirs to prevent overcooking the bottom. But do not over stir the apples unless you want them mashed into a sauce. I prefer chunkier bits so I did minimal stirring.

Once apples are cooked to desired softness, remove from heat and set aside covered. Note I like mine less soft and I don’t want them too runny so I try not to overcook them and I prop the lid open to allow moisture to evaporate from the apples.

Work Surface:

Prepare your work surface for rolling. I use wax paper, and several sheets of it over the course of making the pies - I have to replace it after a few pies. Lay down some flour on the work surface and have everything ready.

Hot Skillet:

Put your skillet on medium heat with enough oil to cover the bottom. I think I prefer the heat to be a little more than medium, but that is up to you and your stove.

Pie Crusts:

Combine the ingredients in a mixing bowl using a wooden spoon or your favorite method. Once you have it thoroughly mixed, the dough should be quite stiff and sticky.

Sprinkle enough flour onto the dough mixture to allow you to cover it on all sides. Cover your fingers and hands with flour in a vain attempt to keep it from sticking to you. It will be very sticky so just get messy and don’t worry about it.

Once you have a ball of dough covered with flour, pull off a wad about the size of a golf ball or a little bigger. Get it well floured and roll it in your hand a bit. Then on a well-floured surface, roll it out with your rolling pin. It will want to stick, so take your time and move it around with lots of flour on your hands and everything else.

You want it rolled thin enough to give you a simple crust on your pie without tearing. Too thick and the crust will be kind of chewy. You may have to sacrifice the first few you make to trial and error. I did, and they were still delicious.

Once you roll out a thin sheet of dough about twice the size you want your pies to be, they are ready to be loaded and sealed. If you have too little dough, pull off some more and start the ball over with the dough you are working with. You can do this several times, it’s ok.

Depending on how big your pies will be, add anywhere from 2 to 4 tablespoons of your cooked apples on one half of the dough sheet, leaving room by the edge to seal it. I used a little too much on some pies and some apples squished out. But I would rather have too much than too little. It’s up to you.

Once you have the right amount of apples on the dough, fold the other half of the dough over the filling and bring the edges together. Use a floured fork to press the edges together to seal the pie.

Now immediately transfer this completed pie to the hot skillet.

BE CAREFUL! Hot oil burns. Trust me on this. Don’t let the pies “flop” over.

You want to turn the pie over once the bottom starts to brown. It only takes a few minutes but I had time to start rolling out the next pie while one cooked. I kept a rolling wave of pies going into the grease this way. You will have to add more oil to the skillet along the way, that is expected.

Once you flip over the pie and both sides are a glorious golden brown (or dark brown as some of mine turn out), remove from the skillet and place on paper towel on a platter or plate to drain off some of the oil. Immediately sprinkle sugar on the top to taste.

Copyright 2013, Kevin Farley (a.k.a. sixdrift, a.k.a. neuronstatic)

Tribune - A Flash Fiction By Kevin Farley

"You will do it! I command it! And you are sworn to my service" The small girl stood erect with hands on hips, spewing defiance in the face of a coppertone dragon so large, he could hold the girl in his mouth whole.

"No, I won't, Princess," the dragon rumbled. "And to be correct, I am sworn to your protection, not your service." The dragon lay casually on the stones of the garden suntrap enjoying the last of autumn's warmth. His voice was deep and rich and commanded respect that he did not receive from the princess. "Furthermore, enacting petty vengeance on other children does not fall under the terms of protection."

"They ruined my birthday party. You were there, you saw them. They made fun of me. They... they..." She searched for some kind of loophole, something to prompt the dragon to action. "They hurt my feelings. You are sworn to protect me and that means to keep me from getting hurt. Now you have to do something."

"Princess Mira, a seven-year-old will get her feelings hurt often. It is part of growing up. And it is apparent you need your feelings hurt some more so that you learn to control your tongue and stop being such a brat." The dragon huffed a sigh, moving enough air to blow the girl's hair into a mess.

"Stop doing that, Vinnek. You messed up my hair on purpose." She fussed with a ribbon to tie her hair back behind her head. "You're a dreadful dragon. You never do anything I say and you're absolutely no fun. And you're mean to me. Mother and father don't believe me because they don't see what you do. But one day they will and you'll be sorry."

The large dragon's eyes rolled up, something like a human rolling their eyes, and it sent Mira into a firestorm. "I hate it when you do that! Stop doing that eye thing! It's creepy and condeselling."

"Condescending. I think you meant condescending, which was precisely how you should have interpreted it." Vinnek huffed again, nearly knocking Mira over.

Mira righted herself and launched her next verbal attack on the huge dragon. "I'm telling father! I'll make him believe me this time."

"Tell father what?" said a voice from behind the stubborn princess.

"Father! Vinnek refuses to protect me and then he was condes.. condescending to me." She turned to Vinnek and stuck out her tongue in victory over getting the word correct.

Vinnek looked hopefully at Uldar for rescue. "Ah, Uldar. Good thing you're here. I was about to eat your youngest daughter. Had I thought she wouldn't be as bitter as her words, I already would have. But I really don't want the large indigestion that would come with such a small morsel."

King Uldar bent down to give Mira a quick hug. "Now Vinnek. Remember, no eating the children, it's part of the rules."

"You're the king, you can change the rules." said Vinnek with a quick wink.

"Not today, Vinnek. What is the latest crisis?" asked Uldar.

"Daddy! Vinnek is…" began Mira.

"Quiet, Mira. I am speaking to Vinnek", said Uldar, cutting off Mira's attempt to control the confrontation.

"Her ladyship wants me to scare the little hooligans that laughed at her at that debacle of a birthday party yesterday. Remember? The one where she wouldn't shut her mouth until she got all of them annoyed with her?" Vinnek rumbled deeply. "It gives me indigestion just thinking about it."

"You saw them, Father! They made fun of me and hurt my feelings. I think it is only right that Vinnek scare them into respecting me." She stopped spitting venom long enough to push out a pouty lip and summon a few tears in hopes of swaying her father to her point of view. "And now he's making fun of me too."

King Uldar sighed. "I'm sure you see it that way, Mira. But remember, Vinnek is a dragon, he is condescending to all humans. He's not making fun of you, it's just the nature of dragons to feel superior. Even if they're not rea--"

"Of course we are!" interrupted Vinnek.

Uldar continued, "And besides, Vinnek is not some servant you can order about. He is a guardian, sworn to our protection, and that includes your protection, but not your vengeance."

Mira fumed. "It's not fair! And now I can't show my face around them ever again! They have no respect for me at all!"

"Mira, my daughter, I love you immensely. But respect is not gained by having a dragon force it. It is earned by your character and your actions. Now go back to the palace and find your mother before I order Vinnek to hold you in his mouth for a few minutes for punishment." Uldar winked at Vinnek as Mira stomped away.

Mira grumbled to herself, but loud enough for her father and the dragon to hear, "What's the use in having a dragon if it won't do what you tell it to? I'd just as soon be locked in a tower as spend another day in a dragon's care."

Uldar shook his head. "Sorry, old friend. I don't know why we spoiled this one as we have. I don't recall the others being quite this bad."

Vinnek looked up with huge eyes at the man before him. "It's because you're getting old for a human, and that is making you soft. Or maybe just soft in the head. Besides, I do remember a certain prince that was just as bad, perhaps worse."

Uldar laughed. "You wouldn't be talking about me would you? I couldn't have been that bad."

"Don't fool yourself young human. She is her father's daughter." Vinnek yawned, revealing massive fangs as long as a man's forearm. "But I was definitely busier with you. You kept sneaking off and getting into trouble, always keeping me on my toes. By the way, you're welcome for all those times I saved your human hide."

"Well, I thank you and all the dragon lords for your protection." Uldar patted Vinnek behind the ears and scratched a few well known itchy spots. "I know she's trouble. And I know she annoys you, but I believe that she needs you to help undo some of our spoiling. Just try not to eat her before she learns a little respect, okay?"

Vinnek leaned his head over, enjoying the scratching and finally rumbled out dryly, "I'll try to restrain myself."

Giving a few final pats, Uldar settled down on the stones and leaned back against Vinnek's warm side. The two of them sat there in silence for several minutes.

It was Vinnek who finally broke the silence. "What do you want this time?"

"What makes you think I want something?" asked Uldar.

"You have that look about you. I've known you since you were a brat on your mother's breast. I sense the question in you." Vinnek twisted his head slightly eliciting a loud pop from his own neck bones. "And you're wearing riding leathers."

"Care for a flight today?" asked Uldar.

Vinnek looked up and then toward the palace.

Uldar motioned toward the palace and all around. "She's quite safe. I just want you to meet someone. It won't take long and Mira and the others are well protected."

"Very well," said the dragon. "But I know nearly everyone in the palace, the keep, and the city. Who is this person you want me to meet?"

Uldar stood up to give the dragon room to move. "I'll explain when we get there. I'll show you the way if you don't mind giving me a ride."

Vinnek rose to his feet and stretched like a cat. Spreading his wings, he gave a nod to Uldar. "Climb up, and lead on. Just don't get too cozy with the idea of a king riding a dragon to battle. I don't do that sort of thing."

They flew to the far side of the palace, toward the tiny village where a number of the palace servants lived. Uldar guided Vinnek to a small house at the edge of the village that was in dire need of maintenance.

A pale woman in simple, peasant's clothes rushed out at the sound of Vinnek's wings and the thud when Vinnek landed his bulk near the house. Strands of brown hair hung loose from a hastily tied bow and lay across her cheek and shoulder. Sad, brown eyes bore the look of a great strain that was no doubt the cause of the dark circles under them. She seemed aged beyond her years.

"I have a child trying to sleep. Who's making that racket?" Seeing King Uldar dismount from the dragon, the woman dropped to her knee to bow. "Your majesty, forgive me. I did not know it was you."

Placing a gentle hand under the woman's arm, Uldar said to her, "Rise, Nemeela. How is Rachel?"

Nemeela glanced back toward the squalid little house. "She is the same, my lord. Maybe a bit weaker. She's been asleep most of the day." She kept her eyes down.

"Vinnek," said Uldar, "I would like you to meet Nemeela, widow to the warrior Clemons who died for his people and particularly his king last year at the battle of Crane's Way. If it weren't for Clemons, I dare say I would have been killed that day. And Nemeela, you can look up, I don't mind, I would like you to formally meet Lord Vinnek, protector of our house."

Vinnek lowered his head and tried not to look menacing. His rich, deep voice vibrated the air around them. "You're husband was a good man and a great warrior Nemeela. I met him once, before the battle. He showed immense courage and loyalty in the king's service. You should be proud of him."

"Thank you, my lord. I am very proud of my husband, may he rest in peace." She turned back to King Uldar. "And I am very thankful for the pension you provide us, my lord. But I have to wonder, why have you come back so soon? Have I done something wrong to displease you?"

"No, dear woman. I came back to check on Rachel," replied Uldar.

"Momma, what was that noise?" A frail girl, no more than five or six years old, emerged from the house. Seeing the dragon her eyes grew big and she nearly shouted, "A dragon! He came. I told you he would, Momma. I asked the king to see the dragon and he brought him!"

Nemeela rushed to her child's side. "Rachel, you shouldn't be up. You're still weak."

Uldar came over to the pair and bent down beside Rachel. "Would you like to meet a dragon, Rachel?"

Rachel's smile brightened her entire face. "Oh yes, please!"

"May I?" asked Uldar, holding his hands out to take Rachel up in his arms. Nemeela shook her head in quick yes and Uldar gently picked up the delicate girl and carried her near to Vinnek.

"Greetings, Rachel. My name is Lord Vinnek of House Kaznarra. I am pleased to meet you." His voice was deep and rumbled through their bodies with the gentle feel of warm honey on a sore throat, soothing and welcomed.

"Would you like me to take you closer? He won't hurt you, I promise." Uldar didn't wait for an answer as Rachel's eyes shown in enthusiastic agreement. He brought her right up close to Vinnek's immense head.

"You are a handsome dragon. May I touch you?" asked Rachel.

"You have such good manners. You do your mother proud. Of course you may touch me. In fact, if the king would be so kind as to hold you near my head, he can show you where I like to be scratched." Vinnek lowered his head to the ground so Rachel could reach his ears as the king steadied her.

"I never thought I'd ever get to see a dragon up close. And I never thought I'd ever get to scratch one behind the ears." Rachel looked up at her mother. "Look, Momma! I'm actually scratching a dragon."

"Yes, baby. You are." Nemeela's voice shook as she held back tears. She looked toward King Uldar and whispered, "Thank you, my lord. You don't know how much this means to her. To both of us."

"Lord Vinnek," said Uldar, interrupting the tranquility of the scratching. "Can you tell me what ails the child?"

Vinnek spun his eyes to stare at Uldar and narrowed the openings to mere slits. "You know my feelings on such matters. You press your position, King Uldar."

"I know, old friend. I cannot command you and would never try. I ask as a friend. Can you tell me what ails the child?" Uldar pleaded to Vinnek with his eyes.

Vinnek relented. "Very well, but that will be the extent of it. I will not do what steeps in your mind." Vinnek sighed a dragon sized sigh. "Rachel, I would like you to do something for me. It's perfectly safe, but may seem a little odd for a dragon to ask it." Showing just how dexterous a dragon can be, he pulled his head away and turned to look Rachel directly in the eye in a short fluid motion.

"What do I do?" the child asked.

"I am going to stick out my tongue at you. It may seem a bit silly, especially when you see a dragon's tongue, but I want you to place your hand on my tongue, just for a few seconds. Would you do that for me?"

"You're tongue? I guess so, why? Do you want to taste me?" Rachel asked in a giggle.

"Something like that," said Vinnek. "Just put your hand palm down on my tongue and count to five and that's it."

The dragon flicked out his tongue and closed his eyes. Placing her hand on the thin tongue, Rachel giggled. "It is kind of silly. I've never had a dragon stick his tongue out at me." She counted to five and then looked at her palm. "I thought it would be wet and yucky. But it was like a cat's tongue."

Uldar laughed. "If cats could grow wings and be much larger, they would be dragons."

Vinnek looked at Uldar and gave just a slightest look of sadness.

"You know I'm going to die, don't you?" asked Rachel. "I've known it for a long time now. It's okay. I'm not afraid. Momma says I'm brave like daddy. But, I don't think I'm that brave." Rachel looked up at the huge bulk of Vinnek towering over her. "I'm really glad I got to finally meet a dragon before I die."

"You have more courage and more heart than a hundred warriors, Rachel," said Vinnek. "If your father were alive today, I know he would be exceptionally proud of you."

"I hope so. I miss my daddy. But I'll get to see him soon. When I die that is. It won't be long now I figure. I'd like to see the mid-winter celebration in the village. But if die before that, then I'll just be with my daddy and that's even better."

Turning to Vinnek, Uldar asked, "What ails her, old friend?"

Vinnek sighed. "She has a blood disease. Death is certain."

Uldar hesitated, considering what he was about to ask his ancient friend. "Can you change her?" asked Uldar cautiously.

Vinnek reared his head back and shot the king a hard glare. "Why do you do this to me and yourself? Why would you do this to this poor woman and her daughter? You know our ways and our rules. I cannot do what you ask, and more importantly, I will not consider it."

Uldar took a few steps away from Vinnek and Rachel and stared toward the palace in the distance. No one spoke for several moments.

Vinnek relaxed and prodded Uldar once more. "Uldar, my friend. You have never pressed upon me so great a request. Why now? Why this child?"

He looked up to the sky and sighed. "I don't know," replied Uldar. "My heart was broken for Rachel the first time I met her. And I feel this… this…" He turned to look at Rachel again, "this responsibility for her care. Her father gave his life to protect his king. To protect me. Had he been less a man, he would have been alive and I would have been dead. I owe him a great debt that I cannot pay."

Vinnek's eyes spun to take in Nemeela, Rachel, and their shambles of a house. "So you think you can repay your debt this way? Do you think this is the kind of thing her father would want?"

"I don't know. I am a king of a nation of tens of thousands. And I owe one man more than I can pay. I owe his widow more than I can pay." Uldar shook his head in frustration.

Vinnek huffed at Uldar. "I cannot take on a pupil as I am currently sworn to your house, King Uldar. And the Guardians are quite clear about the conditions of such a change. I cannot do it."

"I know," replied Uldar. "I was out of options. I had to ask." Uldar bent down to pluck a tiny wild flower near his feet. He stared at it several seconds before continuing. "I don't know what else to do. I thought... I hoped the change would be the answer."

"Change, my lord?" asked Nemeela.

"Nemeela, what would you do to save Rachel's life? What would you be willing to give up?" asked Uldar.

"Uldar..." growled Vinnek.

Nemeela's eyes grew wide. "Anything, my lord! She's all I have left. I would give anything to save her."

Vinnek looked away from the humans, trying to avoid the desperation in Nemeela's face.

Uldar held Nemeela's hand, "Would you be willing to give up Rachel if it would save her?"

"What do you mean, give her up?" asked Nemeela, her eyes questioning both Uldar and Vinnek..

Vinnek turned to Nemeela to answer the question. "King Uldar knows that Guardian Dragons, such as myself, have the power to change a human into a dragon. We have done this from time to time but always for specific reasons. Uldar is hoping I would consent to change Rachel so that it would save her life."

"Change me?" asked Rachel. "Into a dragon? I'm not sure I'd want that. What would happen to me?"

Vinnek answered, "If I changed you into a dragon, which I have no intention of doing, you would instantly become a small, young dragon, free of the disease that afflicts you now, and free of the mortality that awaits your kind. But, you would have to leave this realm and live among the Guardians and other dragon-kind."

"Oh," said Rachel. "Then I'd live for a long time, like all dragons, right? Would I still get to see daddy?"

"Not for a really, really long time," answer Uldar.

Rachel looked up at the king with innocent eyes. "What about momma? Would I still get to see momma or could she come with me?"

Uldar answered. "You would leave the land of humans entirely, Rachel. Without your mother. And you would not see her or your departed father for a very, very long time. If ever." The king swallowed hard at that last thought.

Vinnek softened his tone and leaned his head back down to Rachel's height. "That is right, little one. You could live for thousands of years. Long into the future where your mother and your father become just distant memories among the vast numbers of other memories. You could live long enough to forget what they even looked like."

"I don't think I want that. Would you, Momma?" asked Rachel.

Nemeela's emotions were wildly torn. Wanting to save her daughter at nearly any price, but knowing what such a salvation entailed.

"I don't know, Rachel. I don't know," sobbed Nemeela, bending down to hold her daughter in her arms.

Defeated, Uldar knelt down to Nemeela and Rachel, tears welling up in his own eyes. "I am sorry to have put you through this. I should not have done this to either of you. I had hoped that her condition was not so dire. And then I allowed my heart to outspeak my head and I put all of you through this. Please forgive me."

"There is nothing to forgive, my lord. Your heart spoke honestly and who could ask for a better king?" Nemeela wiped tears from her eyes and forced a struggled smile at Uldar. "But you have made a little girl truly happy today. She got to scratch a dragon behind the ears. Not many children can boast of that."

Uldar smiled a bittersweet smile in return. Truly his heart was touched by the little dying girl who captivated him with her courage and strength. Yet he knew there was nothing he could do to save her. He stood and leaned against Vinnek, feeling the warmth of the dragon on his face. "And I am truly sorry I did this to you, old friend. It was wrong of me."

'Forgiven," said Vinnek. "Though you can still help the child. Bring her to the palace grounds and assign Nemeela as one of my caregivers, if she has no objection. That way they can live in the servant's quarters and receive the care they will need for Rachel." He looked toward the little drafty house. "I fear she would not fare very long in that house when the snows come."

Uldar nodded in agreement. "Who am I to doubt the wisdom of a Guardian dragon? No king lasts long that does so." Uldar knelt down to Nemeela and Rachel again. "Would you like to live near the palace and help take care of a dragon?" he asked.

"My Lord," said Nemeela. "I don't know what to say."

"Say yes, Momma! That's an easy one. And I'll give you scratches every day!" said Rachel to Vinnek.

"Then yes, my Lord. Yes. I would be forever in your debt for such an honor." Nemeela's eyes welled up with tears again.

"No dear woman, you would not be in my debt for the debt I owe you is much larger." Uldar patted Vinnek affectionately. "Very well, it is settled then," said Uldar. "Nemeela if you would gather your possessions together for you and Rachel, I will send my men out to collect you today. But I would like to fly back to the palace now and take Rachel with me, if you don't mind. She will be well taken care of until you arrive."

"Fly on a dragon! Are you serious?" asked Rachel as all the frailty of her disease seemed to vanish with the elation of flying on a Guardian dragon. "She doesn't mind. Not at all! Do you, Momma?"

"I suppose not," answered Nemeela with a tear-laden smile.

Uldar leaned over Rachel. "Come Rachel, hold on tight to me. I will take you on a dragon flight. When we get to the palace, I will show you around personally."

Vinnek winced when Uldar grabbed his ear trying to mount with Rachel holding on. Once they were settled in, the old dragon sighed. "I will never truly understand humans. Of all the mortal creatures, you all are the most perplexing. Perhaps that's why we dragons agreed to watch over your kind. Morbid curiosity."

Stretching his huge wings, Vinnek gently launched himself into flight, carrying Rachel to the palace for her final days.


Copyright 2013, Kevin Farley (a.k.a. sixdrift, a.k.a. neuronstatic)