Stampede!

The morning began as any other typical morning. As I started my day, I had no idea of the horror that was to be unleashed in our own back yard.

I was just leaving for the post office when I stepped out onto the back deck. That is when I first heard that unmistakable baying of hounds giving chase. There were many of them and they were wound up into such a frenzy it was just a continuous din of dogs. This cacophony of predators so near my house was unnerving.

I stood there and listened. I was not sure if I should just go back in the house or continue on to my car 60 feet away. Then I heard my own dog Millie. Being a coon hound she was naturally curious as to what the noise was all about. But Millie is not a bold dog. I began to wonder if I should fear for her as well.

I called to Millie to get her back in the house before this horde of hounds came sweeping up the hillside. As Millie came rounding the house from the front, I caught my first glimpse of teeth and terror coming toward the both of us.

There they were. A stampeding brigade of baby beagles.

There must have been a dozen of them. They moved in unearthly ways and seemed to have a flocking instinct that kept the pack moving in the same general direction. What was the morning to hold for me? Was this to be my end? Was I to be eaten alive by pudgy puppies?

I watched the horde swarm up the hillside, carefully avoid the wet spot in our septic tank's drain field, and then continue their relentless march over the next ridge. I was spared.

I can still hear their calls of death in my ears. Oh will time remove this memory of horror or must I forever remember this as...

The Day of the Beagle Babies

[dun-dun-dun, sounds of 1950s scifi B movies]
With enough bone-chilling adventure to keep you on the edge of your seat. Coming to the woods near you. Taxes, title, and tags not included, your mileage may vary, keep out of reach of children. Do not operate a motor vehicle if you are a baby beagle.



Copyright 2006, Kevin Farley (a.k.a. sixdrift, a.k.a. neuronstatic)

I Hate Being Sick

I really do hate being sick. It kind of feels like "failure". Now I know that is not the reality of it, but when I am sick I don't do all the things I need to do. So I feel that I let others down.

Some weeks ago, I got a sinus infection. Now I have had perpetual sinus infections since I was a kid. So this was nothing new to me. So I fought it off the best I could without going to the doctor. And I managed to keep up my chores and duties.

Then it really hit me. And I mean hit me hard. Instead of just a stuffy nose, I was running fevers, coughing, and my nose was starting to bleed from the infection. In other words, it whipped me.

Well about the same time, my daughter came down with near identical symptoms (except for the nose bleed thing) and we were both miserable. Aches, pains, fevers, coughing, sore throat, the works.

Now shortly before we got hit by this, my son had this kind of thing. But he did what comes natural to him, he slept. He literally slept for 2 days. And you know what, he did not have as many problems as us and it did not last as long. But my daughter and I are still miserable, but being tended to lovingly.

Now let me tell you about my wife. My wife is awesome. She has taken care of me and her step-daughter unlike anything I could have imagined. She has seen to it to lessen our afflictions in all ways she could possibly. And she picked up my slack and was doing the things I should have been doing. I am a blessed man.

Now it was at the urging of my wife though that I finally decided to take myself and my daughter to the doctor. So today, we drove 34 miles to an "urgent care" facility. It is one of the few places you can get in without making an appointment months in advance it seems. Anyway we show up this Monday morning and I knew there would be a wait. When the lady told me the wait would be about 1 hour and 45 minutes, that was ok, we needed to be there.

So my daughter and I sat in the waiting room and watched some daytime tv. We watched Tyra, The Price Is Right, Dr. Phil, and a little bit of a soap, before we finally got into the doctor. That is because we ended up waiting 3 hours and 20 minutes to get in to see the doctor.

Now once in the exam room, we were there only 15 minutes. The doctor looked up our noses, in our ears, and in our throats. He came back with prescriptions for a couple of Z-packs and some cough suppressant, and we were on our way.

So tonight, we have already taken the first dose of our Z-packs. My wife made me take a bath in epsom salts to ease the general aches. And I took my cough suppressant. So right now, I feel much better. I know I have a ways to go yet, but there is light at the end of the tunnel. The last few nights of barely sleeping and coughing all night long were really taking a toll.

So I hate being sick. But I got to see love in action while I was sick. My wife loved me through all those aches and pains. My wife loved her step daughter like her very own child as well. Because I was sick, I have an even deeper appreciation of my wife. I suppose I could say I was blessed with being sick.

I still hate being sick though.


Copyright 2006, Kevin Farley (a.k.a. sixdrift, a.k.a. neuronstatic)

"Every man needs a tractor"

We have a lot of projects to work on here at the farm. And the problem is, we simply did not have the right tools. We have major work to be done and we had no equipment. So we had been talking about getting a tractor for a few weeks. We knew we needed one and we were going to get one, but we did not know when or how.

So the other day, we just stopped in our local John Deere dealer and asked if they had any used tractors for sale. It just so happens that they were getting in a trade-in with only 60 hours on the engine. We came back the day it arrived to see it. It was the right size, the right horsepower, and available at a decent price. Not only that but it already had a bush hog rear attachment and a front end loader attachment.

It smelled of diesel fuel and had me mesmerized. And it was in the right color too: John Deere Green.

Anyway, this is all new to me. I never had a tractor before, or a reason to have one. So I relied on my wife for her evaluation. And after we talked it over, and I inspected the condition a little more closely, we signed the papers and scheduled the delivery.

So now we have a tractor. Of course, the wife thinks of it as a piece of equipment. I think of it as the biggest toy I have ever had :-)

The day it arrived, the guys unloaded and left. I had no manual, no experience, and no idea how to even get it started. So off to the Internet. I downloaded the appropriate manual and in a few minutes I had the basics down for starting the beast. After a quick read through the operations section I had the controls fairly well memorized.

So out I go with key in hand to have my first tractor driving experience. It was fun, it was cool, yeah I wasn't so good at first. But I am getting better.

Now the funny part. I was convinced that it would fit under the carport roof. My wife was not so sure. But since she wasn't around, I decided to try it out. It was just about 3 inches too high. It was obvious when it bent the aluminum flashing on the carport roof. So what comes next is obvious. This thing has a front end loader. I am sitting on dirt. Time to play.

So I dug my way into my own carport. I basically scooped out a few inches and then used the bucket to smooth it as best I could. It now fits. And there is even one half inch to spare.

Now just the other day our pastor stopped by to drop off my daughter who had been over to see his daughter. He saw our tractor and after we praised it for a bit, he said "every man needs a tractor." And the funny thing is, here on the farm, he is exactly right. Every man, and I must point out every woman as well, needs a tractor on a farm.

So we have a tractor and we both can operate it. I think my wife was a bit frustrated that I tried to hog all the driving time when we were moving the manure pile around. When you have horses, you have manure. Anyway, I know she is the better tractor operator of the two of us and has years more experience than I do. So I need more practice anyway :-)

I think maybe tomorrow there is definitely some rock or dirt that needs to be moved. In fact, I am sure I will find some. And when I do, I will think to myself, every man needs a tractor.


Copyright 2006, Kevin Farley (a.k.a. sixdrift, a.k.a. neuronstatic)